A shiver rolls down my spine. Wife. It feels so final. With Julian it would be final, he’s a vampire and they don’t die.
“How old are you?”
“I’m three hundred and twenty-five.”
Even if they do die, I’m not going to live even half as long as Julian has. I’m with him for the rest of my life.
But what if I don’t have to die?
The thought is one that’s been there at the back of mind, growing from the second he told me what he was. Even when I didn’t believe him, fuck, I don’t know if I believe him now,even after what I saw him do to Billy, even after he took the knife for me and healed the way he did. It’s only natural not to believe though—I’m only human. There’s no magic in my world–only death, taxes and the knowledge that I’ll be gone and buried without a soul missing me.
Except now everything feels different. I don’t have to die. Not with a vampire calling me wife and saying that I’m his mate. I could live forever, couldn’t I? I could at least live for as long as Julian has if I become like him. That brings up the other question that’s been growing right alongside the thought of immortality.
Julian puts a glass of wine down in front of me. “I don’t need food. It’s only for pleasure. When you’re a vampire there’s precious little that brings pleasure.”
Precious little. What would immortality really mean in the grand scheme of eternity?
I pick up the wine with a shaking hand and look down at it. The firelight plays through the glass and makes the crimson liquid glow. From this angle, you’d think it’s blood. I raise the glass to my lips and look up at Julian. He watches me with a careful gaze. He wants me.
If I asked for immortality, he’d give it to me. I know that.
If I was able to live forever, would I even want it?
I don’t know.
Thirty-Three
JULIAN
Whatever Maris is thinking about is big. She frowns and stares down into her wine. The pinched look on her beautiful face makes me forget all about my plans to go upstairs after she’s eaten and track down the squatter on the second floor.
“What is it, Maris?”
Her dark eyes come up to mine. “Have you ever been in love, Julian?”
Her question surprises me and it’s tricky work to surprise a vampire. Of course Maris would be the one to do it.
“Yes,” I tell her. “Once.”
“When?”
“1730,” I answer her without hesitation.
“Were you human then?”
I nod and pour myself a healthy glass of wine. If I’m going to revisit my human life I’m going to need to get loaded. My life wasn’t a happy one. “Yes, I was. 1730 was the year I was turned,” I add because I know it’ll come up. When Maris does the math, she’ll wonder and she’ll ask again. I’d rather get thisshit over all at once. Besides, there’s no real way to discuss my transformation from human to vampire without mentioning Claire.
She’s the entire reason I was turned.
Maris swallows hard. “Oh. Did you-I mean, were you together with her?”
I nod and drink half the glass of wine in one go. “We were married.” Maris stays silent. She’s processing that. Fair. It’s been three centuries and I’m still fucking processing it. “Claire was the daughter of a nobleman and I was an artist. When I met her, France was in the throes of debauchery. The old King had been dead for over a decade and everyone had lost their minds with the freedom of it. The Sun King ran a very strict monarchy. War after war after war and the taxes to go with it. Absolutely no fun at all but the aftermath?” I grin and sigh wistfully, “It was a pure and adulterated decadence.” I tell her. The Age of Enlightenment is what we called it, the history books too but I always remember it as an awakening. Every desire and urge a person had was encouraged. Life had been structured and severe under the old Louis, grandeur and ceremony had weighed us all down until life felt like a carefully directed play. His death changed all of that in France.
I met Claire at asalon, the pretense of deep philosophical conversation in the setting of an intimate space, but it was really an orgy.
“The Sun King?” Maris’s brow furrows but a moment later her eyes widen when she gets it. “Louis the Fourteenth? You’re French.”
I’m lucky Maris is smart. What if the fates had chained me to an illiterate? That would be hell.
