The grandfather clock chimes right on cue and reminds me that it’s late. The sun dips down below the horizon, the light outside slowly turns from orange to purple and blue. It’ll be nightfall soon.
“I’ll get rid of this. Be right back.”
“Don’t be long.” I’m treated to another iceberg melting smile. I’m practically floating when I bend to take the trash can away and see that there’s practically no blood at all on the bandages. I glance back over my shoulder at Julian and pause on my way to the kitchen. Just like he said, he’s smoothing salve on the wound. At least he would be if there was a wound, but there’s nothing there at all. Not even a scratch mars his perfect skin. That can’t be. I saw him get stabbed, I felt the force of Aria’s body hitting his when she tried to get to me. I heard the material of his shirt rip under the knife.
How is there no wound?
“Maris?”
I jump in surprise. “Yes?”
“Are you all right?” Julian is looking at me funny. He isn’t smiling now. We stare at each other while I try to understand what I’m seeing. The warm and soft feeling he gave me shrivels up inside of me and something else claws its way into being in its place. Something dark and cold. There’s danger here. He’s too still. That’s what it is. Is he even breathing?
“I-I-I’m,” I lower my eyes and try not to freak out. I’m seeing things, I have to be. Of course, Julian is breathing. The rustle of fabric is the only warning I get that Julian is on the move. He walks so silently that he’s in front of me before I realize what’s happened.
“I’m fine,” I whisper. I keep my eyes on the floor. My body is screaming at me, alarm bells are going off in every part of my body. I have to get away. I don’t move though. My heart won’t let me.
This is Julian.
He healed me.
There’s no reason to be scared of him.
He touches my chin, runs his thumb over it before his fingers slide along the side of my jaw and he tips my head back so I have to look at him. Fear rises in me. My body won’t listen to my heart.
He’s going to kill you, it shrieks over and over again like a deranged alarm clock that I’ve hit snooze on one too many times.
“You don’t seem fine.”
I lick my lips and open my mouth but nothing comes out. My mind turns on me, my thoughts race and the fear repeats the warning again.He’s going to kill you. He’s going to kill you. He’s going to kill you.Hesgoingtokillyou.
“You can talk to me,” Julian tells me.
If I wasn’t a killer then maybe I could just ignore my feeling as paranoia, a leftover from nearly being stabbed today. Explain it away as my nervous system still in survival mode. Any normal person would but Iama killer and I’m not a normal person.
HesgoingtokillyouHesgoingtokillyouHesgoingtokillyou.
My intuition begs me to listen, to run, to find somewhere to hide. I don’t move, not even a muscle. There’s worse ways I can think of to die than by Julian’s hand. He cups my face, palm to my cheek. His thumb ghosts over my lips and again, I don’t run. I lean into his touch, turn my face into his hand and let out the breath I’ve been holding.
HESGOINGTOKILLYOU.
“I’m just feeling lightheaded,” I lie. “It’s been a weird day.” I hold up the waste basket and step away from him but not before I catch his hand and bring him with me down the hallway. “I’m going to toss this out back. Do you want to order dinner? I’ve got a few menus from the places that will deliver here.”
Even if I was normal, I don’t think I’d run from Julian. There’s a pull. A need. It makes me want to be near him. I feel like I’m remembering how to be alive and I know it’s because of him. Before Julian, my life was small. Lonely. I haven’t done athing with my miserable life but hide and waste away in the halls of Vesper House. I won’t do it again.
What’s living worth if you can only do it as a ghost? No, I’m never doing that again. I won’t run from Julian, I won’t hide, I won’t find a way to leave.
Even if he is the end of me, there wouldn’t be anything to end without him.
I’m keeping him.
Twenty-Six
JULIAN
Maris was acting odd. Jumpy and scared. I could smell the fear rolling off her. Sour and acrid, it changed the soothing scent of lemon and rose that I’ve associated with her. I watch her now as we walk down the hall. She’s holding my hand tightly and from the way she’s keeping my hand close to her side I’d think the fear I’m smelling is from the fear of losing me. She squeezes my hand tighter. Maybe it is?
I stay silent and Maris brings me to the kitchen. She flips a switch and the warm yellow lighting of the overhead light floods the kitchen. It makes the windows look darker. Night is almost here.
