I suck in a deep breath because once again I’ve zoned the fuck out when I should have been answering him like a normal person.
“I-I, yeah, okay, I trust you.”
Julian’s smile glows brighter. “That’s what I like to hear.” He pulls out a chair from the table and motions for me to take a seat. “Sit for me?”
I nod but don’t say anything and cross the room and slide into the seat shakily. I’m not used to wanting a man, not like this. There’s been no one in my love life except for Billy. I’ve never even had a one night stand. Me wanting Julian the way I do is so out of character for me.And killing a man isn’t?My traitor bitch subconscious asks me.
“Now this may sting a bit,” Julian tells me. He’s pulled out a chair to sit in front of me, close enough that our knees brush, even more so when he scoots closer a second later and his knee slides up mine to my inner thigh. I almost forget how to breathe just from the pressure of his body so close to mine. It’s not much, just the feel of his leg against mine but it’s enough to send my body into a full on spiral.
“Okay,” I tell him, when I realize he’s waiting for me to answer him. The smell of antiseptic hits my nose a second laterand then he’s moving closer still to start swabbing my wounds. My whole face is stinging by the time he starts to apply a healing salve with the same light touch. I let out a sigh of relief, grateful that the stinging is…well, less. It’s not gone, not by a long shot but it’s a dull throb rather than a painful throb. I can take this. The antiseptic stings, the light touch of the swab followed by the cool salve marks the time as Julian works.
Swab. Sting. Salve. Repeat.
I wince when he touches my split lip but keep still because a second later he smoothes the salve over my lip but when he does it’s not the cotton swab that touches my lip. It’s his finger. I freeze at the brush of his finger, it’s light the same as it was before but different. I’m acutely aware of the way Julian moves. The way his body takes up space and how close he really is to me. He shifts, just a slight lean but it brings the side of his body against mine. I suck in a breath and shift in my seat. The creak of the wood sounds like a shotgun blast in the quiet of the kitchen. I can hear the grandfather clock ticking down the hallway, the telltale creak of the house as it settles and the ever present wind rolling in from the sea. I shiver and lick my lips. I don’t mean to, I really don’t. My body on the other hand, she has fucking other deranged ideas about what she’s going to do with Julian’s finger on my lip. My tongue moves and of course, presses up against Julian’s finger. I freeze when it does, my brain short circuiting when Julian stops abruptly.
The house moves around us. The grandfather clock goes on ticking, the house keeps groaning, floorboards creaking and shifting. Julian and I stay still and quiet. I can hear my heart beating, it’s slamming against my ribs so loud that I’m sure Julian can hear it with how close he is. There’s no way he doesn’t. I think about shifting away from Julian, ducking my head and pretending I didn’t just fucking lick his goddamned finger but it’s not me that breaks the tense silence.
Julian moves first.
He doesn’t move away the way I think he might, the way I know I would. No. Not even close. He shifts closer, leans into my space so close that if I turned my head I’d be kissing him. Julian’s finger moves when he does, sliding across my bottom lip, pressing against the place my tongue wet.
“I’m going to give you something for the pain. Stay here.”
I swear his lips brush against my cheek but Julian’s standing so quickly that I must have imagined it. Another fantasy cooked up by my brain. Maybe I did get a concussion or whatever it is that makes you hallucinate. You’re not supposed to sleep when you get a concussion, right? I slept half the day away after I was done with Brian. That has to be it.
I watch Julian go through his bag and pull out a bottle of pills. He doesn’t say anything as he goes to the cupboard and pulls out a glass to fill with water from the tap. I almost tell him I have a filter on the fridge, the water in town is alright but the house’s pipes are old enough that it tastes like lead. In the end, I don’t say a word as I watch the maybe hallucination of my hot doctor neighbor fill a glass and shake out two tablets into his palm.
“What is that?” I ask. My voice is just above a whisper. I can’t manage anything more than that, my throat feels like it’s made of sandpaper.
“Something to help you sleep. Your body needs rest to heal, this will help.”
Julian comes back and holds out the pills before he drops to his knees in front of me. The sight of Julian on his knees makes my throat feel like it’s on fire. Hallucination or not, I’m dry mouthed and practically panting for the man. He could give me bleach to drink and I’d blindly swallow it down.
“Thank you,” I tell him and take the pills and glass of water. Julian doesn’t answer, just gives me a smile and nods his head.My hands shake while I throw back the pills and chase them with the bitter water. I manage to get a few sips down before I put the glass down and cough. “The water is kinda gross,” I explain when Julian gives me an assessing look.
He frowns, looks around the kitchen and I know he sees the water dispenser on the fridge when he hums. “I’ll remember for next time.”
“Next time?”
“Yes.” That’s all Julian says, no further explanation and when he holds out his hand to me there’s a thrill that shoots through me. He feels different than he did earlier. Heavier. Sharper. If I look at him for too long it’s like his features turn into something else. I don’t know what, but it feels hungry. I take Julian’s hand before I even think to ask why he wants me to.
“Where are we going?” I ask when he leads me into the hallway. I don’t know how fast the pill works and maybe it’s a placebo effect but I’m already feeling off. Like I’m slow and heavy. Is this what being calm is like? I look down at where Julian holds my hand and bite my lip. My teeth cut through the salve and breaks my wound open again. I taste my blood.
Julian squeezes my hand. “We’ll need to get you in bed now. The pills are quick. Show me your room, Maris.”
I swallow down the metallic tang of my bleeding lip and nod before I step past Julian and start down the hallway.
“Okay.”
Seventeen
JULIAN
Maris needs better sense, at least a semblance of self-preservation. Anything. I’m going to make sure she doesn’t do something this fucking stupid again once she’s mine. I frown at the back of her head, her dark hair slides over her shoulder and swishes when turns her head at the top of the grand staircase to look from left to right like she’s crossing the street.
She’s defenseless.
Sweet.
