Another deep breath, and I try to center myself, searching for the magic inside me as if it's a real thing. Others sense their magic, their shift, their abilities, I should have something too, maybe I just need to look deeper.
All that greets me at first is darkness—endless darkness so deep I almost give up—but as my legs continue to sink into the grass and my breathing remains melodically calm, a flicker of something brightens on the back of my eyelids.
I'm uncertain at first, sure it’s a figment of my imagination. Yet, as I take another deep breath, I feel it in my stomach before it flashes on the back of my eyelids like a rich purple orb.
The color is ironic as hell given my hair, but the visual vanishes as my eyelids ping open and excitement courses through my veins.
Clearing my throat, I quickly downplay the moment and tell myself I'm crazy instead of trusting in myself.
With a heavy sigh, I flop onto my butt, crossing my legs in front of me as defeat clings to me, my shoulders arching forward, leaving me distracted.
I run my fingers over the blades of grass around me, some dark green, some almost yellow, dried out from the sun with no care or water.
It’s so different to see them side by side, but the representation connects with a part of my soul. It's almost as if they were never the same thing to begin with.
I rub both blades between my fingertips, feeling the difference in texture, from silky and soft to dry and flaky.
It makes me think of people, beings, institutes, and everything in between. It makes me consider how two things can grow in the exact same environment, side by side, yet be so different, not just in themselves, but in their souls.
I'm definitely the yellowed blade of grass. Never would I be blessed to live in such a green and lush place.
As the thought enters my mind, I feel it inside, the words illuminating in my thoughts with the same rich purple hue, making it glow.
It's enthralling and strange all at once as it blurs my vision, but when I regain my focus, I blink in disbelief at my hands, where I see two green blades of grass. My hands tremble as I gape at them. It’s not as rich as the first one was, but both stand as the same perfect mid-shade of green.
My heart hammers in my chest, confusion clouding my judgment as I release them quickly just to repeat the process with another two blades of glass.
One rich and green, one yellowed and dry.
Connecting my thoughts to the small blades, I feel that same flutter of rich purple deep in my soul and watch in slow motion as the darker blade grows lighter, and the paler shade grows darker until they are perfectly the same.
Rushing to my feet, I sway on the spot.
How did I do that?
Why did it do that?
Usually, my magic works against a person, and I'm able to take their powers for myself, not purposely or intentionally. It usually comes with rage and anger, intense emotions. Whereas this time, it's filled with an inkling of sadness, as well as an understanding and acknowledgement of who I am as a person.
Did I just take life from one thing and give it to another?
My chest clenches at the idea as hope blossoms in my gut.
I need to talk to somebody about it, but I don't want to be wrong, and I don't want to make things worse for myself if the wrong person finds out. Fear spikes in my veins and I glance over my shoulder, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end, leaving me riddled with worry.
The panic that someone is watching me is quickly subdued when I find I’m still alone, but I don’t care to hang around and double-check.
As quickly as I can, I put my socks and sneakers back on and grab my sword. Maybe I should take this back to Institute Thirteen, head to the gym, and focus on that first. I want to exhaust my body before I come back here and try again. Maybe then I'll have the courage to tell someone.
I grin, unable to stop myself. Maybe, just maybe, I'm more than just the deadly weapon they all believe I am.
25
THORNE
Frozen in place, my heart lurches, finding a new speed as I stay hidden in the shadows, watching her every move like a hawk.
Wonder dances across her features as her eyes widen, a mixture of surprise and joy flitting across her face. I can feel her energy from here; the nausea in her gut, the disbelief, all of it.
