It’s hollow, gut-wrenching, and traumatic. If it were anyone else, I would be trying to crawl into his lap, standing or not, desperate to soothe the pain, but there’s a wall between us now. One he put there.
“Yeah, puppet master sounds fitting,” he muses, sadness tinging each word, and I fight the desire to look at him. Regardless, he pushes through, trying to get the conversation started despite my poor efforts. “But truly, I didn’t expect any of that to happen in the game, or the one before that. Jude isn’t very forthcoming with information. I can show you the texts he sent, but all that will show is him telling me to make sure youget to safety. I thought it was a good thing when he described a hiding spot in the maze. Did I think he was going to do something treacherous, which is why he was letting me know? Yes. But did I assume it involvedyoubeing the one in harm’s way? No. Never. And for that, I’m truly sorry. I know it’s not enough. It will never be enough, but I won’t ever be able to describe how I felt when he took you before my very eyes, and I reacted too late to change the outcome. That’s on me.”
The sincerity in his voice is disarming, and against my better judgment, I find myself staring into his deep emerald eyes. They lure me to the shore, promising me sanctuary, but I have to remind myself of the truth.
I’m not safe with him.
Pursing my lips, I don’t look away as I speak. “Do you know Walker?”
His eyebrows gather as he shakes his head. “No,” he murmurs, and I frown.
“But he seems to be your brother’s right-hand man,” I retort, unable to piece together how Walker can be so close to Jude yet leave Kael so unaware. “I don’t buy it,” I add when he doesn’t confess.
Rubbing the back of his neck, he grimaces. “We were estranged for some time,” he admits, and although I believe him, it makes my gut churn.
“And why did that stop?” I breathe, my instincts confirmed as guilt flashes in his eyes. The weight that plummets in my stomach is unbearable.
“Say it,” I grunt, my nostrils flaring as my breaths grow shorter and sharper.
Instead of speaking, he runs his tongue along his bottom lip, nerves getting the better of him, but before I can push him further, Rion snarls from beside me.
“Say it, Kael.” He sounds angrier than I, yet Kael doesn’t glance away, keeping his eyes fixed on mine as he speaks.
“Because of you.”
Ocean’s hand curls around my upper arm, squeezing with more of that silent support she has to offer while my heart beats rapidly. “From the beginning?” I clarify, but he doesn’t answer; all he does is stare at me. “Since we arrived at The Vale?” I encourage, my pulse ringing in my ears as he still doesn’t utter a word, and I think I’m going to be sick as I ask my next question. “Before the sentencing?”
His head dips to his chest. “Before it all,” he breathes, and I launch to my feet, but instead of charging at him as I should, I stride around to the back of the sofa, putting another layer of defence between us as I try to contain my emotions.
“Wow,” I mumble, disbelief combined with hysteria taking root. Distraught, I fold my arms over my chest as I glare at him. “Why?”
He looks down at his hands.
“I don’t know,” he says with a sigh, and I scoff.
“That’s not good enough.”
“It’s all I have,” he insists, letting his hands flop at his sides in defeat, but my eyes narrow further.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit,” I snap, anger burning through my veins. “Why did you agree to be his puppet? Why did you agree to manipulate me?”
“I didn’t do that,” he bites back, frustration darkening his eyes as I blink at him.
“You didn’t?” I all but squeak, disbelief lilting my voice, and he shakes his head.
“No, I… It’s not like that at all,” he grunts, and I press my fingers into my temples, trying to lull the headache starting to form.
“Then tell me what it’s like.”
Any emotion on his face falls away as he stares at me blankly. “Why? It’s not going to make you feel any differently about me. Is it?”
My anger fizzles to disappointment and hurts more than I would like; at the same time, Grimm’s words replay in my mind. “Are you the spy they’re looking for?” I blurt, waving an accusing finger in his direction, and his brows knit together in confusion.
“No, I didn’t report anything back to Jude. My job was to keep you safe.”
