"The hell I can't.Tomorrow, I’m having someone set up a perimeter around the house.No one is getting in without having access to the gate that’ll be installed.He’s not going to hurt you."
The fierce certainty in my voice seems to steady her slightly.She takes a shaky breath then looks around the kitchen at the smoke-stained walls and ruined pan.
"I should clean this up.The kids will be home tomorrow and I can't have them coming back to a disaster."
"We'll clean it up.Together."
"You don't have to?—"
"I want to."
She nods, wiping her eyes again, and we spend the next twenty minutes opening windows, scrubbing smoke residue, and throwing away what's left of dinner.It's domestic and ordinary, and under different circumstances, it would be perfect.
But I can feel the tension radiating from her; see the way she keeps glancing at the door like she expects Ethan to come back.The bastard really got to her.
"Better?"I ask when we're done.
"Better.Thank you."
We're standing close now, closer than we probably should be, but neither of us moves away.I can see the exhaustion in her face, the stress lines around her eyes, the way she's trying to hold everything together through sheer force of will.
"You're not alone in this," I tell her."You know that, right?"
Her eyes fill with fresh tears."Sometimes it feels like I am."
"You're not.I'm here.I'm not going anywhere."
"For the kids."
"For all of you."
The honesty in my voice seems to surprise her.She looks up at me, really looks, and I can see the moment she realizes what I'm saying.
"Hades..."
"I can't pretend anymore, Angel.Can't pretend I don't feel what I feel when you're around."
"Don't.Please."
"Why?Because it's complicated?Because the timing's not perfect?News flash, sweetheart—nothing about this situation is simple or perfect."
"Because those children need stability, and they can't handle any more upset in their lives."
"Caring about you is upheaval?"
"I think me caring about you is selfish."
The admission hits me like a physical blow.She cares about me.Despite everything, despite the engagement ring she wore for two years and the life she built with another man, she feels this too.
"There's nothing selfish about wanting to be happy."
“You think I haven’t thought about it?About choosing you?But if I do and it all falls apart, then I’m the woman who brought even more damage into their lives.These five kids are depending on me to make the right choices."
"What if this is the right choice?"
She shakes her head, but she doesn't step away."I can't.I can't risk it."
"Risk what?Being with someone who actually sees you?Who thinks you're incredible exactly as you are?"
