"Angel," he murmurs, and there's something in his voice that makes me open my eyes.
He's looking at me like I'm something precious, something he wants but knows he shouldn't take.The conflict in his expression mirrors exactly what I'm feeling; this pull between what's right and what's necessary, between what I should want and what I actually want.
Slowly, carefully, he leans closer.I can feel his breath against my lips, can see the exact moment he decides to close the distance between us.
"Aunt Evie?"Lily's voice from the doorway shatters the moment like glass."I can't sleep.Can you read me another story?"
Hades and I spring apart like we've been burned, both of us breathing harder than we should be.The spell is broken, reality crashing back in with all its complications and responsibilities.
"Of course, sweetheart," I manage, my voice only slightly unsteady."Let me just walk Uncle Hades to the door."
Lily nods and scampers back toward her room, leaving us alone again but with all the magic sucked out of the moment.
"I should go," Hades says, and this time there's finality in it.
"Yeah.You should."
But neither of us moves for a long moment, both of us processing what almost happened and what it means.
"This is complicated," I say finally.
"Everything worth having is complicated."
The same words he said before, and they hit just as hard now as they did then.
"The kids need stability.They can't handle any more upheaval in their lives."
"I know, and they'll have it.Whatever happens between us, I'm not going anywhere."
The promise settles something anxious in my chest, even as it makes other things more complicated.
"Goodnight, Angel," he says softly.
"Goodnight."
I watch him leave, then spend twenty minutes reading to Lily until she falls asleep.But even as I go through the motions of bedtime routines and house-settling, my mind keeps drifting back to those few moments in the kitchen.
The way he looked at me.The way his touch made me feel alive in a way I'd forgotten was possible.The way everything seemed right when he was here, like this chaotic household finally made sense.
When I finally collapse into my own bed, I can't stop thinking about what might have happened if Lily hadn't interrupted us.About what it would have felt like to finally give in to the attraction that's been building between us for years.
About what it would be like to have him here every night, not just for crises but as a partner.Someone to share the bedtime stories and homework battles and midnight fevers.
Someone to hold me when the weight of everything gets too heavy.
Someone who looks at me like I'm worth fighting for.
The fantasy that plays out in my mind as I drift off to sleep is vivid and detailed.Hades and me building a life together with these five kids.Lazy Sunday mornings and family dinners and all the small intimacies that come with sharing a home and a future.
And later, when the children are asleep and it's just the two of us, the way his hands would feel on my skin.The way his mouth would taste.The way he would make love to me like I'm something precious and necessary and his.
I wake up the next morning with heat pooling low in my belly and the knowledge that I'm in serious trouble.
Because somewhere between the panic attacks and bedtime stories, between his gentle handling of traumatized children and his fierce protectiveness of our makeshift family, I've fallen completely and irrevocably in love with Hades Blackwood.
And I have absolutely no idea what to do about it.
CHAPTERELEVEN
