“You changedmyworld,” Sam said gruffly.
His quiet words were so honest and heartfelt and sweetly sincere. And God, Jules’s stomach twisted. He’d lost somuch, they’d all lost so much—in fact, the entire country was seriously fucked—and yet...
His dearest friends had come all this way to support him. To make sure he knew that he wasn’t alone.
Alyssa always could read his mind, and she echoed a variation on that theme, as tears brimmed in her eyes. “Imagine how awful this would be if we didn’t have Robin and Sam,” she whispered, and he actually laughed a little as he nodded because yes. He and Alyssa both were so lucky to have found love in a world that could be so ugly, so harsh, and so brutally cold.
“It’s okay to cry,” Sam murmured from behind him, and Jules knew he was talking to Alyssa, too.
“I’m just... so numb,” Jules whispered. God, he wished hecouldcry. But he just felt so... disconnected. So lost.
“That’s okay—just feel whatever you’re feeling even if it’s numb, it’s okay,” Robin said, and both he and Sam moved in even closer, into a giant group hug with Jules and Alyssa in the middle. “Just breathe.”
Alyssa smelled really good—Jules not so much, he was certain, but she obviously didn’t care. “Give yourself permission to grieve this,” she whispered—she who’d always been so much more private with her own grief than Jules had ever been, so that was saying something. “But there’s no timeline, no right way or wrong way to do it. You’ll get there when you get there. We’re all feeling a loss—you and Robin even more so, after these past shitty,shittymonths.”
“God, it’s been so bad,” Robin whispered, which was good because as the upbeat, still youthful, optimisticBoy Wonderas Sam called him, he’d been trying so hard to be hopeful, even in the face of all of the devastation—especially the loss of their long-awaited, desperately wanted baby andthe devastating injuries to the surrogate who’d become their dear friend.
Oh God, there was so much to cry about.
But Jules just couldn’t do it. And God, he was just so tired...
“When a door closes, a window opens,” Sam murmured into his ear, and no, Jules was never going to get used to that. “Believing that helped me, when I had to leave the teams. I’ve been where you are, Jules—” AnotherJulesfrom Sam. Was this end times? “—at the end of a road, the end of a journey I wasn’t ready to be over. But therewasa crossroads ahead for me—just like there’s one hanging out there, for you. There’s a future that doesn’t have to suck just because it’s different from the one you imagined last year or, shit, even last week. This I know for abso-fucking-lutely sure.”
And Jules had to laugh, just a little, despite the soul-crushing fatigue and disappointment, because... “Does one of those crossroads lead directly to the Troubleshooters office in San Diego?” he asked. “Is this where you recruit me to come work for you?” He was talking to Sam but he opened his eyes and included Alyssa in thatyou, since she was Sam’s boss at the personal security firm that they’d both helped create after Sam left his beloved SEAL Team Sixteen, all those years ago.
“It’s more of awith you,” she answered for Sam. “We need experienced team leaders. We’ve gotten alotof new recruits from Team Sixteen these past few months—you’re not the only one who’s decided that enough’s enough.”
And yeah, that made sense. Lotta the enlisted SEALs—at least the ones that Jules knew well, like Izzy Zanella and Mark Jenkins and even Adam’s husband, Tony Vlachic—were older and married and probably more than ready to start a new phase of their lives. They, too, were no doubt eager toskip the illegal orders and constitutional crisis bullshit, thanks so very much, American voters.
Alyssa kept going. “We need you.”
Robin lifted his head again to look at Jules over Alyssa. “San Diego’s not that far from Hollywood.”
“It’s not,” Sam agreed from behind Jules. “And yeah, you would have to bounce down to SAN with some frequency, at first at least, but we’re actually looking to open a branch in LA.”
“Oh, my God,” Robin said. “Really? That’s... Iloveyou.”
“Ditto, Boy Wonder. Grab a shower and get dressed,” Sam drawled. “Both you guys. We’re taking you to lunch to make you an offer you can’t refuse.” He caught himself then, because he was Sam and he was always alert and thinking, “Well, probably best to order in, avoid the movie-star goatfuck factor, but it’s on us. And by us, I mean Tommy Paoletti, who really,reallyloves you. So shower’s optional but highly recommended, because holyfuck, Cassidy.”
Jules had to smile. Cassidy. He was Cassidy again.
And maybe—just maybe—he’d get through this, like always, with a little help from his friends.
CHAPTER FOUR
Present Day
Woodland Hills, California
Mission Day Minus Five
His father was dead.
Mick knew that he should’ve felt something besides this burning frustration that, even in death, the shithead was still managing to screw up his life.
He’d been planning to tell her—Emily—tonight. The truth. Of course, that had been his plan for most nights since she’d nearly dropped a watermelon on his foot in the grocery store, and he’d failed spectacularly in getting it done for months now.
But now—and forever more—it would look as if he’d only told her because hehadto tell her. Which was now true.
