Dave nodded as he sighed. “Jon’s sister is Casey Esparza.”
“Seriously?” Thomas started to laugh.
“Dave grew up across the street from her,” Rio told them.
Tasha was less impressed. “I’ve met her,” she said. “Ted was friends with Wild Sky’s... showrunner, I think it was.” When she said Ted, she meant Prince Tedric of Ustanzia. She was close friends with the royal dude. “We hung out on set a few years ago, you know, when they did the reunion movie. Casey seemed really nice. Grounded and down to earth.”
“She is,” Dave said. “She just really loves Jon. And me.”
“They were together for ten years,” Rio threw out.
“Seriously?” Now it was Tasha’s turn to be wowed. “So... maybe her overly-enthusiastic-bordering-on-stalker motivation was more of a Parent Trap thing.”
Dave laughed as he nodded. “Yeah, that’s definitely Casey’s vibe. Rated PG with zany hijinks and some slapstick comedy thrown in.”
Rio finished his beer. “Okay, help me out here. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen The Parent Trap,” he said. “I know it’s about twins separated at birth—which is bullshit, by the way, who does that to their kids? But okay, they randomly meet at some summer camp and decide to get their parents back together, and zany hijinks ensue...?” He shook his head. “I’m confused as to how that’s Casey’s vibe. And feel free to define vibe for me while you’re at it.”
“It’s the spirit of the film,” Tasha told him, “that Casey’s harnessing here. Her motivation comes from a pure, somewhat child-like place, you know—she’s trying to reconnect two people she thinks are soul-mates.”
“That makes Luc the mean lady who’s trying to get her hooks into the dad,” Dave told him. “Which... makes me the dad. Was it Brian Keith...?”
“I don’t remember the mean lady,” Rio said.
“Or Dennis Quaid in the remake,” Tasha told Dave, before turning back to Rio. “The twins are horrible to her, and she eventually leaves.”
“So... if Luc’s the mean lady, and Casey’s vibe is the whole pure-but-horrible twins thing, then she approached me—thinking I’m Luc—in the parking lot to... do what, exactly?”
“She was probably just checking you out,” Tasha said.
“Maybe,” Thomas theorized, “she wanted to see Luc up-close to make sure Dave wasn’t doing that, what do you call it, fake-boyfriend thing.”
“Fake boyfriend,” Rio said, laughing, because Luc absolutely was Dave’s fake boyfriend. Dude had managed to embroil them all into his rom-com movie of a life. “Except, whew, the layers get really deep here, guys—because... wait for it—I’m Dave’s fake Luc.” He turned to grin at Dave. “Which makes me your fake fake-boyfriend. That’s impressive, bro. I’m free on Saturday, by the way, if you want me to go to that wedding with you.”
And now both Tasha and Dave were looking at him with wide eyes, while Thomas just laughed and slowly shook his head. “Rio,” he said. “Now, I know you were kidding, but...”
“Nah, man,” Rio said. “I’m serious here. If Dave thinks he’s got to go to this thing—”
“I don’t just think it,” Dave said. “I really do have to.”
“Well, my first choice would be Dave doesn’t go and expose himself to Jon’s toxic bullshit,” Rio said. “But if he really thinks he has to, then my next choice is that Dave doesn’t go alone. And since his real fake-boyfriend’s in London...”
Dave laughed. “Rio, I appreciate it, I do, but I’m not gonna make you—”
“You’re not making me do anything,” Rio countered. “I hate Jon’s lying, cheating face. I’m more than happy to help keep you safe from him, plus I get to meet Casey Esparza for real, with hopefully fifty-percent less weirdness. Also? I’m still hoping you’ll eventually get your head out of your ass, and spend some quality time with Luc to see if it’s real. That’s not gonna happen if you hook up with Jon again and get trapped in his relentless drama. Again.”
Dave was still shaking his head as Thomas chimed in. “It’s not like Rio doesn’t have the leave time. In fact, I can practically hear the Senior Chief applauding from here. Take a day, Rosetti. Take two days, no, take a week!”
Shit no, he was not taking a week, although Thomas’s words were not untrue. Every chief and senior chief even remotely connected to SEAL Team Ten was starting to get on Rio’s ass about all of his accrued leave. Ever since Randy Duncan had sold his Florida-based camp for corporate SEAL wanna-bes, Rio had stopped taking any extended time off. Sure, he’d take a day here and there when his family came to visit. But he loved being a SEAL. He loved going wheels up with the team—nothing better.
“I absolutely can get the time,” Rio told Dave. “And I want to go, it’ll be bizarrely fun. Let me help.”
“I think you’re crazy, but I can’t say no.” Dave laughed, but Rio could see the relief on his face—that he wouldn’t have to face his ex alone.
From across the table, Tasha leaned forward, her eyes sparkling with delight. “Please,” she said to Rio. “Please please please please let me go shopping with you.”
“Shopping?” Rio was confused. He tried to remember if anyone, at any time during this conversation had said anything about shopping.
“Luc Rosetti is not going to a wedding attended by Casey Esparza wearing Rio Rosetti’s clothes,” she informed him.
