And yeah, it had been easier and less painful—for him.
She had been left believing—again—that she hadn’t truly been desired.
And Jim simply could not let that stand.
He had to get to Tampa. To the airport. Now. “Can I catch a ride with you, into Sarasota?” he asked Clark.
“If you can be ready to leave in about twenty minutes, sure.”
“Kid, I’ve seen the inside of your trailer. You’re seriously gonna pack all that shit in twenty minutes…?”
Clark smiled. “With all due respect, LT, I’ll be done in ten. I was giving you a little extra time.”
“You were born to be a SEAL,” Jim told him. “I’ll be ready when you are.”
As Clark headed for his RV, Jim set off at a knee-wrenching jog down the trail. He needed coffee—and a quick but sure-to-be-loud conversation with Dunk.
***
Ashley sat at the gate in the airport, trying desperately to read. She had a mountain of great, unread books on her e-reading app, but nothing caught her attention, and she flipped aimlessly from one to the next.
This was where, if her life were a rom-com movie, Jim would come running into the airport, searching for her, shouting her name. And then, as she stood, he’d spot her and rush up to her, then drop to his knees to beg her to forgive him, to confess his undying love, and possibly even to ask for her hand in marriage.
Except there was no way he’d be able to drop to his poor, battered knees—and right,thatwas the reason her insane little fantasy was never going to happen.
And even if it did… The sad truth was that she no longer wanted him. Just like Brad before him, there was literally nothing Jim could say or do to make up for the appallingly awful way he’d treated her.
Ashley sat with that for a while, wondering if it was really true, or if it was just something she was telling herself—and trying hard to believe in—so that she didn’t fall apart.
She spent some time Googling therapists in the San Felipe area. She knew of some—women who specialized in helping other women out of abusive relationships by working on reinforcing self-worth and self-esteem. Because there was a pattern. Women who struggled to value their own selves often wound up in relationships with manipulators, over and over again. Predatory and abusive men recognized and targeted the vulnerable. And while that was not the women’s fault, the patterncouldbe broken by women learning to love themselves—to recognize that they deserved to be treated with real love and respect.
And although Ashley hoped that she’d never tolerate a relationship with a man who was physically or even verbally abusive, there was certainly a pattern to her behavior. She was attracted to men who were assholes and users—there was no denying that fact.
God, it was embarrassing to remember how quick she’d been last night, to assume what she was feeling was love. A little dick—well, a rather large one—after having gone without sex for too long, and she was ready and eager to give her heart away to a man she barely knew.
Barely? She didn’t know himat all. God, she’d only met the man a few days ago. She’d made stupid assumptions, and created a persona for him that was kind, and caring, and funny, and smart, and imperfectly perfect for her… Oh God, don’t let her cry…
Ashley stashed her iPad in her purse, and stood as she raised the pull-handle on her rolling carry-on bag, heading for the privacy of the closest ladies’ room. Again.
***
Jim walked into a full staff meeting in Dunk’s outer office—where just last night he and Ash had…
Everyone looked up as he came through the door, which didn’t help him feel any less self-conscious.
“Hey,” Dunk greeted him. “Didn’t expect to see you until later. I figured you’d be driving Ashley to the airport in Tampa. I got a note from her that she had to get back to California in a hurry, and I thought—”
“No,” Jim said. “She, uh, must’ve, um, gotten a car.”
Dunk wasn’t even remotely fooled, and his eyes narrowed. “I heard about Bull and Todd’s bullshit out on the paintball field, and today they’ll be emptying black tanks under my supervision. Tomorrow they’ll have a choice between an all-day sensitivity training session, or leaving and not coming back until they take the damn class, and I’m banking on them choosing the latter. But I’m guessing they’re not why Ashley left.”
“No,” Jim agreed.
“What the fuck did you do?” Dunk asked.
Jim looked around the room at the faces of his teammates. Lucky, as always, was perpetually amused, and he looked back and forth from Dunk to Jim as if he couldn’t wait to see what was going to happen next. Rio’s eyebrows were raised, and Thomas grimly shook his head as he stared down at his feet, as if he already knew the answer and was embarrassed for Jim in advance.
“I fucked up,” Jim admitted. “Badly. I’m actually here for you to fire me, so I can go to the airport in Tampa and find Ashley and…”
