“Maybe. Like what if I track him down and it turns out he’s this amazing guy with a whole new family he loves? What if he’s the world’s greatest dad, but something about me drove him away?”
“Oh, Luke.” I stare at the sea, breathing deeply to stop the ache in my chest. “If it’s true he went on to start a new family, that would have nothing to do with you. That’s on him, not you. You’re a great guy.”
“Thanks.” He’s quiet again. “And if your mother can’t handle you being pregnant, that’s her problem.”
“Maybe.” I draw in a shuddery breath. “I feel bad that I haven’t told my cousins yet. They’ve been like my siblings since we were all little.”
“Why haven’t you told them?”
“I don’t know.” I nibble my lip. “I guess I’m afraid they’ll see I’m not perfect.”
“Hazel, honey. What could be more perfect than growing two little lives inside you?”
I hadn’t considered it like that. “I don’t know.”
“Look, I won’t push you to tell anyone. That’s your choice to do it whenever you want or however you want. But I know your cousins, and I know they respect you and love you no matter what.”
“All right.” I want to believe him, but Luke wasn’t there during those years of estrangement. That long stretch of time when I had to choose between believing my father or believing my cousins.
I chose my father.
And honest to God, I’m not sure I’d do things differently if I could go back in time. Despite everything, I still love my dad.
“Haze?”
“Yeah?”
“You okay over there?”
“I am.” Resting a hand on my belly, I feel a warm ripple inside me. “Thanks for talking with me. Sorry to be such a downer.”
“Jasmine,” he says. “Ginger. Sage.”
Laughing, I circle my palm over the swell of our daughters. “One of these days you’ll land on names we both love.”
“Here’s hoping.”
We say our goodbyes, and I hang up the phone feeling equal parts peaceful and restless. It’s like some tiny flame deep inside me blazed into a bonfire the day I touched Luke in my foyer.
And despite my best efforts, I can’t seem to snuff out that fire.
As I take off my clothes and get ready for bed, part of me wonders why I still want to.
Chapter 8
Luke
It’s been six days since Hazel got back from Croatia. She came home from the airport and dove into work like she was on fire and her office contained the closest available ocean. I haven’t seen much of her, since I’m focused on a new Spencer Development construction project.
We crossed paths at Weirdoughs on Tuesday but just traded smiles and some pleasantries. She was lunching with Lucy, so I get why she had to pretend we’re just casual pals. It still felt jarring after her intimate overseas call.
When my phone rings on Saturday, I won’t lie—I’m hoping it’s Hazel. I pick up without checking to see who’s calling.
“Got a job for you.”
Fucking Ark Man.
I shift the phone to my left ear and turn down the volume on the ballgame I’m watching. “Oh yeah?”
