“No, thank you. Thank you for helping me practice having tough conversations. I—I really needed this.”
“I’m glad I could help.” She sniffles. “I had no idea forgiveness could feel this freeing. Do you feel it, too?”
“Yes.” I’m crying again, and I let the tears flow. “I feel it.”
And we say our goodbyes and I hang up the phone, I feel ready at last to face Luke.
Chapter 17
Luke
“Thanks again, man.” Mason walks past as I toss my spring rake in the truck. “Considering all the free labor you’ve done on our houses, you’re kind of an honorary Spencer-King now.”
“It’s no problem.” Today we laid sod at Mason and Erika’s new place. They hired contractors for most of the big stuff, but projects like landscaping we’ve done as a team on weekends. “I’m happy to pitch in.”
Jake lumbers past with a shovel. “You sure I can’t pay you for helping me with the gutters yesterday?”
“Pay me with a six-pack and some tots.” I grin, though my face doesn’t feel much like making that shape. It’s one of the reasons I showed up today. “I needed to get out of the house and stop moping, you know?”
“I hear ya.” Jake claps my shoulder. “Good luck.”
“Thanks.” I survey the jobsite, conscious of one missing brother. “Where’d Noah go?”
Mason shrugs. “Back on the road, I guess. He never really says where he’s going.”
Cal wanders past, peeling off his leather work gloves. “Is it always someplace overseas?”
“Mostly.” Kaleb looks thoughtful. “Last week he said he might stay stateside for a while. Guess there’s some project close by that needs more attention.”
A hopeful look lifts Jake’s craggy jaw. “Maybe he’ll finally put down roots someplace in Oregon.”
“Maybe.” That doesn’t seem likely, but I don’t have the heart to suggest their brother won’t ever stay put in one place for long. Noah Spencer-King is the last guy on earth I can imagine settling down.
But hey, they know him better than I do. He’s called a few times since he gave me that envelope with my father’s information. I still haven’t touched it.
“You gonna track him down?” Noah demanded two days ago.
“Probably not,” I admitted. “I’m kinda over it.”
“Why?”
“Why do you care?”
He grumbled something I didn’t catch. “Let’s say I’m invested now.”
“I’m not.” Not anymore.
“Why the fuck not?”
I gave it some thought before answering. “It’s not worth the risk of finding out he had more kids and turned out to be the world’s greatest dad.” Given how I’ve been feeling since I screwed up with Hazel, I know I can’t handle that heartache. “At least not knowing means I can convince myself he’s just an asshole and I’m better off without him.”
“How’s that working out for you?”
“Not great,” I admitted, wishing I could snuff the small flicker of hope in my chest. “But I’ll get there.”
“At least keep his info,” he pressed. “Just in case you change your mind.”
“Sure.” By keep I mean crumpled in the back of my car. As far as I know, that’s where it still is. “Thanks for trying. Not your fault I lost heart.”
