Dana Peschka is staring at me like my brain is leaking out of my ears, and maybe it is. Maybe I’ve finally lost it. Honestly, I don’t care. I’ve lost Sarah, and that’s the only fucking thing that matters right now.
I grip my briefcase tighter and take a breath. “I know I blew this job,” I tell her. “And I’m sorry about that. I should probably stick around right now and fight for it. Convince you I’m passionate and human and emotionally up to the task of running this company. But there’s someone else I’d rather persuade.”
“Sarah.” She doesn’t flinch, doesn’t smile, doesn’t waver from the knowing expression she’s worn from the moment I met her. I wonder if she sees the gaping hole in my chest where my heart used to be.
I nod numbly, but my brain is already headed down the elevator and out onto the street to find Sarah. To convince her that I’m not dead inside, that I love her more than I ever thought possible.
I was just too chickenshit to admit it.
But I’m not now. “I have to go.”
“Understood.” The faintest little ghost smile graces her features, or maybe I imagined it. “Take care of yourself.”
“Thank you.” I slam my hand against the elevator button, surprised when the doors ding open like it was waiting there the whole time. I step inside and turn to see Dana still watching me.
“A decision’s rarely final,” she calls. “Good luck, Ian.”
I don’t know whether she’s talking about the job or my relationship.
But right now, only one of those things matters.
“I love her,” I say out loud, testing the words to see how they feel coming out of my mouth.
They feel pretty damn good, so I say them again with more conviction.
“I love Sarah Keating more than anything else in the world.”
As the elevator doors close, I could swear I see Dana Peschka smile.
It takes me a few hours to track down the name of the interior design firm owned by Lisa Michaels, and three tries to get the phone number for the posh Pearl District shop where she works.
It could be because my hands are shaking.
Lisa is quiet on the other end of the line as I explain what I need. When I finally stop speaking, she is polite enough to refrain from asking if I’ve sustained a head injury.
“I’ll see you here in four hours,” she says without asking a single question. “You’d better be sure about those measurements.”
“Thank you.” My throat feels tight, and I’m humbled beyond reason that this woman I’ve only met a few times is helping me without hesitation. “You have no idea what this means to me.”
“Yes, I do,” she says. “You’re not the first guy to freak out when he thinks his heart’s in danger of getting stomped on. It’s what you do afterward that counts.”
She hangs up before I get a chance to ask what she means, so it isn’t until I walk through the doors of her tidy little shop that I get a look at her face. I expect her to be protective or dubious or even angry, but I don’t expect her to be…smug?
“Here,” she says, thrusting a fancy shopping bag at me. “Take a look and see if that’s what you had in mind. I had to try four different fabric shops to find those, and the dimensions were a little unusual.”
I stare into the bag and feel a rush of gratitude so powerful it nearly knocks my feet out from under me. “It’s perfect,” I tell her.
“The rest of it is next to the door,” she says. “Let me know if you want a box.”
I glance over at it, warmed by the realization of how much work she’s invested. The miracle she just helped me create. “Thank you. It’s exactly what I need.”
“So is she.” Lisa watches me like she hasn’t decided yet whether I’m worth trusting. “You know that, don’t you? That she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you?”
I nod and clutch the bag so tightly my knuckles are white. “I know it now.” I swallow hard, surprised to discover the lump has started to dissolve. “I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out.”
“Is that the only thing you figured out?” She folds her arms over her chest, and I see she’s not going to let me out of here so easily.
“I know that I love her,” I say. “But I need to be the one to tell her to her face. And I need to let her know I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that to her.”
