How did he even know it was a possibility now when it wasn’t before?
My eyes land on her stomach. She could be pregnant already. One of them could have already won and she wouldn’t even know. We wouldn’t know.
I push away from my place against the wall, halfway to move closer to her and my son and halfway to move my aching cock into a new position so it quits scratching against my zipper.
“I can’t find anything you bought.” She turns, hereyes narrowing just enough to show she’s upset as she looks over at Abel. My son makes it a point to look anywhere but at her – or me – and decides to repack his bag for afourthtime.
“Abel Patton, where are the clothes you got on Saturday?”
Our son shrugs in response, changing the order of his pencils in his pouch. Eve shoots me an apologetic look before walking over and sitting down on his bed next to him.
“Abel, hun, Atlas bought you those clothes for school.”
He shrugs off her touch and moves a few inches away from her on the bed.
Is this where I start fathering him? What do I even say? Will Eve be mad if I do say something? What the hell –
Eve’s frantic waving makes me focus back on them, the two most important people in my life. Her eyes are wide and beginning to fill with tears as she waves me over. “Please,” she mouths.
I walk over and crouch down in front of Abel. He nearly stretches his neck in an effort to look away from me, and it hurts me to know he’s going through this much effort to keep distance between us.
“Abel, son – “
“I amnotyour son.” His voice is harsher than I would expect from a nine-year-old, but I shouldn’t be surprised. He is my son after all, no matter how much he tries to deny it.
Eve gives me an encouraging nod and leans down to take my hand, lacing our fingers together and squeezing her palm around mine in a silent show of support.
“No, Abel, you are.” My son turns with his mouthwide, ready to tell me off, but I hold up a hand to stop him. “I know you’re pissed. I know you’re hurt.”
Abel scoffs. “You couldn’t hurt me. I’m strong.”
I nod and give him a small smile. “You are. You’re the strongest boy I know.”
“Good.” He narrows his eyes down at me and in that moment, I see more Evangeline in him than I ever have. “You spend time with other kids?”
I give him a shrug. “A little. Some…people who work for me have kids and I’ve met them a few times, but you’re definitely stronger than all of them.”
I see his little chest puff out with pride, so I continue. “Can I tell you a secret?”
Abel looks at me skeptically before looking over at Eve. She gives him a small nod, and he turns back to me, “As long as my mom can know, too.”
God, she’s done such a good job raising him. What if I fuck him up somehow?
“Of course she can, this secret is about both of you.”
Abel leans in, waiting for the big reveal. I see Eve do the same from the corner of my eye.
“You’re stronger than me right now.” I see his eyes widen in surprise. “I didn’t know you existed, Abel, and I couldn’t find your mom no matter how much I tried. It hurts me that I missed so much of your life, of your mom’s life, and I’m trying to be strong because I was taught that men always have to be strong. But guess what?”
“What?”
I lean closer, feeling brave enough to reach out with my other hand to grab Abel’s. His hand feels so fragile in mine, but he doesn’t take it away. Emotion clogs my throat as the feeling of both their hands in mine lifts an invisible weight off my chest.
“Being strong isn’t all about muscles. Sometimes,strong men cry.” I look over at Eve, making sure she knows that this admission is for her as much as it is for our son. “I cried when I found you guys. When I got over to Wylder’s house and laid down, I ended up crying until I fell asleep. Not because I was upset that I found you, I was excited, but I was upset I missed so much. I was upset that we didn’t know each other. I cried for all the time I wished I had a son but didn’t know you even existed.”
I clear my throat, and Eve reaches up to wipe at my eyes, but I give her a small shake of my head. “So, you see, Abel, you can be upset with me because I’m upset with me, too. You can be angry at me because I’m angry with myself, too. You’re being so strong letting your emotions show and telling us how you feel.”
The room is quiet when I finish, neither one of them saying anything but looking at me as if I hold all the answers in the universe.
