‘Focus on the good,’ he advised. ‘Always. Let the anger fuel you for the days ahead but let go of the fear. We’re here. He can’t hurt you now.’
‘He can,’ she argued. ‘And he will.’ But she smiled, remembering how Maverick had stood by her side to confront Alex. ‘But I think I’d have enough, you know. If I lost my career. Mav. Poppy and Sierra. The ranch …’
‘You fell fast,’ he said, but his tone was cautious.
Nina heard it. ‘What?’
‘Just be careful, okay? I really like Maverick. And God knows, the man is easy to look at. But just … be careful. I want this for you – but that doesn’t mean I can’t be scared at how quickly you’re moving, too.’
Nina wasn’t offended. Markus’s concern came from a heart that loved her fiercely. She did say, ‘I never wanted a man.’ She laughed aloud at herself. ‘After watching Lulu all those years …’
‘You’re not your mother.’
‘I know that.I do. But growing up in that environment really damaged me, Markus. Men have always made me anxious. Even the few that I slept with … I only did it because I thought I had to prove to myself that I wasn’t … I don’t know – “frigid” sounds too cold. But it’s probably close to accurate. I didn’t enjoy it – sex. I didn’t feel a connection or … or pleasure. Theideaof intimacy terrified me. And instead of proving to myself that I was normal, the few times I tried only seemed to reaffirm my doubts. Because how could I go thirty-four years without feeling—’ she slapped one hand to her chest ‘—this? Thiswant. Andneed. Just the urge to be closer to someone, to be touched by someone –him.’
When tears burned her eyes, she refused to let them fall. ‘And it’s the loveliest feeling to know that I’m not broken, just locked. And that I was waiting for the person who had the key. The right person.’ She exhaled a huge breath as the immensity of emotion wrapped around her. ‘He’s so kind, Markus. So gentle with me.’
Markus sniffled. ‘Girl,’ he rasped.
As she spoke, Nina realized what she had found. And it gave her courage. ‘I’m going to marry him.’
‘What?’ he stared at her.
Nina laughed, as stunned by her declaration as he was. ‘He doesn’t know it yet. I only just realized it myself … But why wouldn’t I hold on to this with both hands?’
‘It’s a lot to take on.’ He tipped his head in the direction of the lounge where Poppy was still watching TV.
She shook her head. ‘Not for me. Loving Poppy is easy. Maybe it’s not maternal love yet, but I have no doubts that I can get there in time. Loving Mav is scary and overwhelming, but that doesn’t mean it’s not good. He makes me want things I’ve never thought about before.’
‘Like marriage.’
Nina nodded slowly. ‘Like marriage. And …’ She swallowed the lump in her throat down. ‘He makes me think about babies,’ she admitted shakily.
Markus gasped dramatically. He used both hands to run a drumroll on the table. ‘I can do your wedding and maternity shoots! Oh my God – long, lace sleeves on the dress. Hair, half down, half up. And you, on horseback in that white gown and black cowgirl boots. Mav on the ground, looking up at you. And when you’re preggers, Mav can do that trick where he gets Zephyr to lie down. I’ll dress you in a maroon – no, hunter green! – tube dress and a cowgirl hat and boots, and then you can lean back against Mav and the horse, both hands on your belly. Oh. My. God! I’m so excited. I know I said go slow, but I changed my mind. Can you expedite this?’ he teased.
Nina didn’t laugh it off. She could see his vision. And she wanted it. ‘I mean, as maid of honour, you’d have a deciding vote on the dress.’
Markus did a booty shake in his chair. ‘How soon do you think you can get this ball rolling?’ he asked. ‘Now that the idea’s in my head, I’m not going to sleep until it’s done—’
‘Nina?’
Both Markus and Nina turned as Poppy came into the kitchen. ‘What’s wrong, Poppy?’ Nina asked kindly.
‘Where’s my dad?’ Poppy asked, but she came to Nina and climbed onto her lap with no self-consciousness.
Nina absently tucked an errant strand of Poppy’s hair back into her braid. ‘He just had to pop into work for a bit. He should be home soon.’
‘The bad man came.’
Nina’s hands paused in their task. She floundered for a moment before making a decision. Turning Poppy a little, she said, ‘He did. But your dad scared him away.’
‘Daddy always scares away the bad man.’
‘He does,’ Nina agreed.
But Markus saw her hands shaking and intervened. ‘Hey, Poppy. What do you think about me being your Uncle Markus?’
Poppy eyed him seriously. ‘Do you like dolls?’
