The question, the bluntness in which it was asked, momentarily shook her. But she replied honestly, ‘At first, it was because I was too afraid that I’d give in to my own feelings and stay. And then because I was too ashamed. Now … Because I see Poppy’s dread when she sees me and it’s too hard.’
‘Did you ever think she might dread you less if she knew you better?’
Shannon drew back slightly at that. ‘No. I’ve seen you with Poppy, so you might not understand this, but some women aren’t made for motherhood.’
‘Yes. And some choose not to be. There’s a difference.’
Shannon didn’t bother arguing. ‘Yes.’
Nina sighed. She turned to face the Hunt circle. Shannon followed her gaze and saw that Maverick was on alert. The silent messages that passed between Nina and him were impossible to miss.
‘Come on then,’ Nina said after a long moment. With the drinks in her hands, she started back to the Hunts’ circle.
Shannon followed. Her palms slicked with sweat. Her heart beat an anxious tune in her throat. And when she saw Poppy’s eyes widen with anxiety at only the sight of her, she exhaled a deep breath.
Nina frowned at her. ‘What’s wrong?’
In a moment of complete weakness that she’d regret later, Shannon said, ‘For an intelligent, successful woman, it’s galling to not know what to do.’
‘Don’t try to be her mom. She doesn’t know you, and it confuses her. Just be yourself. She’ll loosen up. Trust me on this; I have zero experience with kids, but Poppy’s made it really easy for me.’
‘I know it doesn’t mean much coming from me, but I’m happy for you and Maverick. And for Poppy. She clearly adores you.’
‘It’s a little soon for that,’ Nina said cautiously.
‘No.’ Shannon looked directly into Nina’s eyes. ‘If he’d looked at me like that – the way he looked at you during the shoot and when he sang – evenonce, I never would have left.’
Nina didn’t deny it. She asked, ‘So that’s why you left?’
‘In a nutshell. I’d worked too hard for my career to stay with Poppy when Maverick never looked at me like that.’
Surprisingly, Nina didn’t seem judgemental. ‘I understand,’ she said, ‘what it’s like to live and die by your career. I know the terror of being a woman in a vanity industry. But I’m telling you from experience, if you don’t step up, you’re going to lose her for good. Poppy … She’s five. If you started giving a damn now, by the time she turned ten she would barely remember a time when you weren’t there. But if you don’t step in soon, by the time she’s ten she won’t care about you at all.’
Shannon’s throat closed at the possibility.
‘Mav … He would never try and stop you from seeing her.’
‘Oh God,’ Shannon whispered anxiously, cutting Nina off as they came close.
‘Look who I found,’ Nina chirped brightly.
‘Hi.’ Shannon actually waved before she caught herself. ‘I hope you don’t mind if I join you for a bit.’
There was a moment of stunned silence before Mav got to his feet. ‘Of course not.’ He offered her the space next to Nina on the settee and then walked off to pull himself a chair from a nearby cluster.
The conversation started back up slowly.
For the first time ever, Shannon didn’t try and bridge that gap between her and Poppy. She didn’t even look at her daughter though she was acutely aware of those big brown eyes turned warily – maybe also a little cautiously? – in her direction.
She talked and laughed with the others, slowly relaxing though she wasn’t sure she’d ever feel comfortable with them.
And an hour later when the band started playing Shania Twain’s ‘Any Man of Mine’ and the line dancing instructor got up to lead the dance, Poppy jumped up on the chair. ‘Daddy!’
She didn’t even have to tell him what she wanted, Shannon noted. He just knew.
Maverick got to his feet with a resigned sigh. ‘If I have to do it, you guys have to do it too.’
Sierra didn’t need to be told twice. She did a little shoulder shimmy and whooped. ‘I’m gonna get Markus.’
