‘Shannon all over again?’
‘Worse,’ he said. ‘So much worse. The only thing keeping me from full-blown panic is knowing that she’s trying to protect me – and Poppy. That’s what she said. And I can’t even be mad at her because the fact that she thought about my kid at all – and during the worst time of her life – only made me love her more.’
‘But?’
‘There is a not-so-small part of me that is terrified that she won’t come back.’ He cleared his voice of emotion. ‘And I’m not so sure what to do about that.’
‘I think you make sure you’ve told her how you feel about her, and then you give her the time and space to decide what she wants,’ Sierra said slowly. ‘I think, as hard as it is for you to truly believe it, you acknowledge that Nina is not Shannon. You know that in your heart, Mav. Otherwise, you never would have let yourself fall in love with her.’
‘I didn’tletmyself do anything,’ he insisted. ‘She just knocked me clean off my feet. Those goddamn eyes … I didn’t stand a chance.’ And strangely, he felt better having admitted it. ‘I wanted her from the first, but I didn’t want to need her. And then before I had even acted on the want, I somehow ended up needing her.’
‘I know it’s hard for you,’ she said. ‘But you have to trust her to know what she’s doing. She’ll come back.’
‘I hope so.’ Mav sighed. ‘But I hate not being there. I hate not being able to help her or comfort her. It feels like I’ve abandoned her when she needs me most, and that goes against everything I’ve ever believed in.’
‘So? What are you going to do about it?’
‘We need to rearrange my schedule indefinitely going forward. If she reaches out, I need to be able to pick up and leave at a moment’s notice. I won’t pressure her on the relationship because I know she doesn’t need that stress right now. But I’m also not going to sit here, twiddling my thumbs, while she faces that fucker alone.’
‘I’m way ahead of you.’ Sierra cocked one hip. ‘I asked Benji to stay on and help until things blow over.’
Mav’s eyebrows rose at that. ‘Thank you for doing that for me. I’m sure it wasn’t easy.’
‘I don’t know …’
Maverick waited silently for her to continue.
‘Part of me hated having to do it. And part of me was relieved that I had a legitimate excuse to ask him to stay. And as much as I know it’s fucked up, as much as I can’t talk to him without snapping, I also selfishly feel safer knowing he’s here when you’re not.’ She shook her head. ‘What type of person does that make me?’
‘Human.’
Sierra laughed. Leaning forward, she linked her arm with his and tugged him through the front door. ‘What can I do foryou, Mav?’ she asked, redirecting the conversation.
‘Can you help me open an Instagram?’
‘Seriously?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Why?’ She led him through to the kitchen. ‘Mav, given your relationship with Nina, being online right now isn’t a good idea. It’sbrutal. And it’s only going to get worse.’
‘I know. But I don’t know how else to let her know that I’m here for her. I want her to know that I’m not afraid of the scrutiny.’ He went to the fridge and pulled out two beers, twisted the cap off the first and passed it to Sierra before opening his own. He sat at the kitchen table.
Sierra held one palm out. ‘Phone.’
Mav passed it to her, because even though he hated being online, he wanted to support Nina there too. Hating being online didn’t mean that he was ignorant of the fact that most of the world operated there now, and he wanted to be there for her in every way possible.
Sierra was quiet for a few minutes as she worked. And when she spoke, she said, ‘Okay, I’ve downloaded the app, and I used your work email and laptop password so that it’s easy to remember.’
‘How do you know my laptop password?’ he asked.
‘HuntRanch123. Seriously? You’re about as mysterious as white bread.’
He smiled despite himself.
‘What do you want your handle to be?’
‘My handle?’
