‘Mav?’
He opened his eyes, asked, ‘Hey. Did I wake you up?’
Nina shook her head, but he knew immediately that she had heard at least part of the phone call. ‘Poppy wanted to speak to you.’
‘I heard. I … can’t.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m so sorry, Mav.’
‘For what exactly?’ he asked, because he didn’t blame her for anything.
‘For going to Hunt Ranch!’ her voice came out loud and panicked. ‘For getting involved with you when my life was a mess! For endangering …’ She took a deep breath, rasped, ‘For endangering Poppy.’
‘Nina, come here.’ He held out one hand for her, and when she took it, he tugged her onto his lap. ‘Life is messy. Almost always. But I’d rather do it with you than alone. And you never endangered Poppy. Alexander Cane did.’
‘It’s not that simple,’ she insisted.
‘Yes—’ he brushed her long hair behind her ear ‘—it is. But you have to be willing to accept that you are a victim – a survivor.’
He hated when her eyes welled with tears. ‘I don’t want to be weak.’
‘Being a victim doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means something happened to you. And being asurvivor– that means you’re still moving forward despite it.’ When she started to argue, he talked over her. He asked, ‘Take yourself out of it, Nina. Put any other woman in your place.’ Though he hated the thought, he pushed, said, ‘Put Poppy in your place.’
She bit back a sob.
‘What would you tell her if she was in your shoes?’ he asked. ‘One day, when that little girl is a grown woman, we might be having this conversation with her. So, what will you tell her? As her dad, I need to know what you’d say to her.’
‘That it’s not herf-fault,’ she managed eventually. ‘And that she didn’t do anything wrong.’
‘Exactly.’ He wrapped his arms around her, felt his heart settle when she nestled against him. ‘It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.’ And because he could feel her pulling away, he added, ‘I’m with you. I’m not going anywhere.’
Chapter 26
They slept cocooned in each other, arms and legs entwined. But when Maverick woke up in the morning and Nina wasn’t there beside him, his blood ran cold.
He found her sitting in the lounge of the hotel suite, her long hair falling down both sides of her face to her hips, her big eyes sad. He knew before she said, ‘We need to talk,’ that she was pulling back.
But he sat. He rested his forearms on his knees, linked his hands, and lifted his eyes to hers. When she struggled to speak, he forced a smile, gave her an encouraging nod. But he didn’t touch her. He was too afraid that if he did, he might do something crazy. Like refuse to let her go. Kidnap her.
‘I have to do this by myself, Mav.’
Of all the words she could have broken him with, those weren’t the ones he would have guessed. Because if she’d said she didn’t love him or didn’t want a life on the ranch, he would have understood. But Mav, who had been raised with all the love and support in the world, and who had continued to give and receive that love and support, didn’t understand why she’d need to stand alone.
‘Why?’
‘Mav …’ She reached for his hand then. ‘You don’t know.’
‘So,tell me,’ he demanded quietly as the first of his panic slipped through.
‘You don’t know what it’s like, to be hounded by the media day in and day out. To have them take pictures of your everyday moments – going to the grocery store, blowing your nose, or … or sharing a kiss on a horse – and blow them up into a consumable product, into an … an event!’
‘I know what I’m getting into. I have my eyes wide open.’
‘The fact that you’d say that is only proof that you have no idea. Mav, Iknowyou. You’ll hate every moment of it.’
‘You think I don’t know that?’ he asked. Because he did. He understood – and dreaded – that inevitability. ‘Iknow, Nina. But I’m prepared to do it – for you.’
‘I’m not prepared to ask you to do it.’ And then she said the only thing that could have destroyed him at that moment. She said, ‘For Poppy.’
Mav hated what she was doing even as he loved her more for doing it. Because it would be Nina who would think about Poppy’s – abouthis– wellbeing over her own. Still, that deep, dark insecurity that existed in him had him saying, ‘If you are only trying to protect us – don’t. I can look after myself, and I sure as fuck can look after Poppy. But if you don’t feel the same way, if you don’t want that life, I’ll understand. But I need you to be honest with me, Nina. Am I showing up, am Ifightingfor you as a friend or as a woman who wants more from me?’
