Even in the darkness, he saw Gilene flinch. “My gods, I don’t blame him. That poor woman.” Her eyes glittered. “I think there must be no depth the Empire won’t descend to in its cruelty.”
“I’m counting on that hatred to sway him to my argument. He’s the canniest of theatamansand doesn’t turn away from a fight.”
Gilene shifted to her side, her expression anxious. “Sackingthe capital is a risky endeavor, Azarion, much like that mad tumble you took under Karsas’s horse.” Her lips quirked. “If I didn’t know you better, I’d call you reckless.”
He mimicked her position, feeling the stretch of taut skin over his sore shoulder. “But you do know me better now. What do you call me?”
“I think you’re fishing for compliments,” she teased.
“I’m asking for your honesty, which you’ve always so generously shared with me, even at its harshest.”
She stared at him without speaking, and Azarion wondered what she saw and whether it pleased her.
“I would call you clever. Brave. Relentless in your pursuit of a goal. I don’t know what defines a goodataman, but I think you will be one for your clan. They’ll thrive under your leadership.” She frowned then. “Should you live long enough.”
Azarion reached out to capture a flyaway strand of her hair. “I’ve fought too hard to stay alive this long to suddenly embrace death.”
The steppe wind chittered a faint laugh as if amused by his defiance.
“When we leave this encampment, it’s a three-day ride through the Siraces Valley and another six days across Kraelian lands before you reach Beroe. It’s a four-day return ride to the Kestrel camp. Will you not return with me, Gilene?”
He dreaded letting her go but had sworn to her he would. That oath didn’t stop him from trying to convince her to stay.
Her eyes were so dark, no more than a play of shadows and the secrets she held close. “And what would I return as,Ataman? The concubineagacin?”
“You’ve seen the respect and regard all Savatar hold for theagacins. You’re a handmaiden of Agna.”
“I don’t even believe in your Agna,” she protested.
“And yet she chose you as one of hers. You don’t have to stay with Clan Kestrel. Any clan would gladly welcome you into their midst.”
Her face shuttered into an expressionless mask. “They are still strangers, people who know nothing of me nor I of them despite their honoring my role as Agna’s handmaiden. Home is among those who love you.”
Azarion rolled partially atop her, startling a gasp out of her.
He traced the line of her nose. “My mother has great affection for you. As does Tamura.” She snorted at that assertion. He pressed on. “What if I said I loved you, fire witch?” Her entire body tensed under his, and her lips parted on another gasp. “Can that not be enough to convince you to stay and make the Sky Below your home?”
A lone tear trickled from the corner of her eye and slid into the hair at her temple. “You’ve wanted a great deal from me,Ataman. You want my heart as well? Have me abandon all I’ve known to stay here with you?”
He bent to kiss her right eyelid, then her left, the salt of her tears stinging his lips. “I’m a greedy man. I want all of you, heart, soul, and body. You already have all that I am. It seems only fair.”
Deep down, he knew she’d refuse. Even if their relationship hadn’t been founded on extortion, struggle, and captivity, she was single-minded in her devotion to a duty for which she’d never receive thanks nor recognition from those she saved year after year. If, as she said, home was truly among those who loved you, then Beroe wasn’t her home. He didn’t know whether to hold her in sympathy or shake her from frustration.
He couldn’t regret asking her to stay. Soon they would part for good, and he was desperate to keep her.
“The same family awaiting you in Beroe willingly surrenders you to Kraelian slavers every spring so that you are raped and burned.” His voice sounded harsh to his ears. She might love her mother and siblings, but she hated her fate. Azarion suffered no qualms in reminding her of that fact.
“Stay with the Savatar,” he argued. “If I can convince Erakes that my plan is sound, has merit, and we unite to attack the Empire’s capital, the Rites will end. No more Flowers of Spring to sacrifice. No more burning in the Pit. No worrying whether someone’s mother, daughter, or sister will be tithed.”
They stared at each other until Gilene sighed and raised her hand to trace Azarion’s eyebrows with her fingertips. “That is a dream to hold close during the hard nights, but a dream it still is. Until you and the Savatar can make it a reality, I have to go back. I can’t abandon my mother or my sister or any of the women who rely on me to protect them from the Empire.Iwill survive it. They won’t. In my place, would you turn your back on them?”
She asked the question he’d hoped she wouldn’t. It was the one he couldn’t deny without lying, and he’d lied to her enough already. “No. I’d go back.”
Her watery smile reflected in her gaze. “You risked everything to return to your people.”
He moved so that he didn’t crush her with his weight but could still feel the length of her against him. “Risked you as well.” More words hovered on his tongue, difficult to express in a way that kept him honest but still conveyed his regret.
“Had there been another way to gain my freedom and regain the chieftainship other than abducting you, I would have chosen it. You can rightfully fault me as merciless and without compassion for your plight. I did what I did without thinking of your own circumstances. It was wrong, and though I can’t regret bringingyou to the Sky Below, I am sorry you suffered for it.” He stroked her cheeks, loving the feel of her smooth flesh under his fingers. “That was no way to repay someone who only helped me. I don’t ask your forgiveness, Gilene. I don’t think I could give it were I in your place, but ask of me what you will, and I will do all in my power to fulfill it.”
