Fuck.
I pace away from them, into the forest, needing to move, needing to do something other than stand there under their scrutiny.
They follow, their footsteps slow and deliberate across the underbrush.
He gives me a moment to try to breathe and find my center before he speaks again. “I’ve said this before, but you know that nothing he did was your fault.”
“Fuck.” I whirl toward him. “Of course I know that, Killian, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t still feel guilty about it. That I don’t still feel like…fuck”—I throw out my hands again—“like I don’t know, like maybe part of whatever did that to him is inside me, too. That if he’s capable of it, then maybe I am.”
Connor narrows his dark gaze. “You can’t be serious. You’re about as different from Earl Byers as anyone on the planet. You don’t hurt people, Liam. You protect them. You help them. That’s who you’ve always been.”
Killian nods. “That’s what you did for me when we found Willow. You’re the one who forced me to come clean with her and to face whatever happened head-on together. You made things possible for us. And finding out whose blood runs through your veins doesn’t change that. You’re a McBride.”
Despite his best effort to reassure me, Killian’s insistence doesn’t help.
“That’s what I keep trying to tell myself but…” I shake my head, trying to break free from the dark cloud that’s encased it. “But it doesn’t stop the nightmares.”
Connor rubs the back of his neck, tilting his head as he considers me. “But she does?”
Shit.
Is it that obvious?
How much I’ve become attached to her?
That woman and that dog are the only things that have given me any semblance of peace in nine fucking months, and now that peace has been shattered by what I witnessed this morning. Whatever’s going on with her, I can’t allow her to keep it from me anymore because it isn’t putting only me in danger, it’s putting Willow, and Niall, and everyone else in the line of fire, too.
What if she had pulled that trigger when Connor walked in?
What if I hadn’t been able to talk her down?
Fuck.
I bury my face in my hands.
“You have to talk to her.” Connor’s voice comes deep and level. “Now.”
He isn’t angry, even though he has every right to be.
He’s just worried.
“I know. I know.” I scrub my hands over my face. “I don’t want to push her away. I don’t want her to hate me for doing it and try to run.”
Killian steps forward and claps me on the shoulder. “If she runs, you’ll just have to go after her.”
13
LIAM
The moment I walk through the cabin door, the stress and anxiety that had drowned me all day up on the mountain evaporates, freeing me to take a deep breath for the first time in hours. And it isn’t just because I don’t have my brothers up my ass anymore.
It’s because walking into this cabin, it finally feels like a home, like somewhere I have a life and a future.
And it’s all because of who is waiting here for me, the warmth and presence that permeates the space that’s all Lucky. That light eucalyptus scent that clings to her fills the air, along with something else that makes my stomach rumble.
She’s cooking.
Gizmo bolts from where he stands near her feet in the kitchen toward the front door, barking and jumping, trying to get up into my arms. Grinning, I nudge the door closed behind me and scoop him up, allowing him to excitedly lick at my face.
