Connor nods and empties all the bullets then releases the hammer.
“Oh, God.” I bury my face in my shaking hands, my whole body shaking so badly that only Liam’s arm around me keeps me upright. “I’m so sorry, I…I don’t know what I was thinking. I…”
I scramble for an explanation, for a way to truly apologize for what could have been a crushing mistake that would have destroyed the McBrides.
Liam holds me tightly and nods at Connor. “Put it over there.”
Connor sets the gun and bullets on the end table next to the couch and looks at us for a few minutes before he releases a long sigh. “I came to see why you weren’t at breakfast yet, but now I know.” He releases a little humorless laugh. “I’ll let Willow know to expect you in a few minutes, once you get things settled.”
Get me under control is what he’s really saying.
I could have killed him.
One more step into the cabin and I would have fired. I would have ended the perceived threat without even realizing who he was because in my mind, all I saw was the threat I know is coming.
A different dark-haired, broad shouldered man…
Liam walks us over to the couch and drops down onto it, pulling me into his lap as Gizmo follows Connor to the door with a low growl. Once it’s shut behind Liam’s brother, Giz jumps up on the couch, nuzzling against me.
One of Liam’s hands slides into my hair, cradling my head to his chest. “It’s all right, Lucky. Everything’s fine. Nobody got hurt.”
“But…I-I could have shot him.”
He shushes me, gently rubbing his other hand up and down my back in the quiet stillness of the emerging morning.
We sit with me wrapped up in him for several moments as sunlight continues to trickle in more and more through the front windows of the cabin, and Liam finally pulls his head back, taking my face in his hands, tilting it until I’m forced to look at him, even though I don’t want to.
How can I after what I just did?
He searches my face, his gaze soft but laced with concern. “Why do you have a gun, Lucky?”
Those green eyes watch me carefully as I try to come up with a response, anything that could explain my reaction short of telling him the truth, but I can’t think of anything. Nothing that would justify almost shooting his brother, who had every right to come into Liam’s house, who has probably done it a thousand times without even thinking about it, who certainly didn’t anticipate starting his morning staring down the barrel of a gun.
The longer I refuse to answer, the longer Liam stares at me with so much compassion and worry, the more I want to come clean. I want him to understand why I just did that, that I was trying to protect myself and him from the ramifications of my actions. But each time I try to open my mouth to say the words, they get choked on the reality of what telling him would mean.
Danger.
Unlike anything he’s ever faced here on McBride Mountain.
Time passes, the cabin lighting up until most of the pre-dawn shadows have been chased away, but that darkness still lingers in his gaze, and he eventually presses his lips together in a firm line. “I told you I wasn’t going to push you, and I meant it when I said it. And I don’t want to make this any harder for you than it already is, but you have a gun. You’re scared enough to pull it on my brother. Lucky, you have to tell me what’s going on.”
Tears flow down my cheeks, and I don’t even bother trying to stop them now that they’ve started. Now that he’s opened Pandora’s Box and the dam has cracked, I won’t be able to push back the tidal wave of terror that has kept me running for what feels like forever.
But it isn’t this man’s responsibility to solve my problems or to dig me out from under the weight of what I’ve done.
I shake my head. “I can’t, Liam. I can’t put you in that position.”
“What position?”
A sob slips from my lips. “I’ve already said too much.”
The more I say, the more I talk about it, the harder it will be to keep the rest of it in. But I promised myself I wouldn’t let anyone else pay for my bad decisions. And if I tell him, that’s exactly what will end up happening.
“I just…can’t.”
He releases a heavy sigh, then tugs me up against him again, squeezing me tightly and pressing my face into his chest protectively. “You will. When you’re ready.”
LIAM
