I’m in no place mentally to be anything more than a friend to anyone, nor do I really have any experience in that regard. The only girlfriends I’ve ever had were in middle school and high school.
Casual.
A few dates here and there.
Never anything serious.
I wouldn’t know what to do with a woman like Lucky. Because something tells me she has far more experience in this world than I could ever have, and not the pleasant kind.
The way she’s always looking over her shoulder. How her eyes darken when someone she doesn’t know comes into the diner. Her shoulders stiffening when anyone asks her literally anything about herself. All of it points in one direction—not a good one.
And I’m not about to let Killian or Connor make her uncomfortable by sitting here and giving her shit when she comes back.
“Are you two just going to sit there to harass me, or is there a reason you came in?”
I was stuck on the far side of the mountain today dealing with the new logging plan, in the one place I never wanted to return to again.
And it’s left me…unsettled.
Maybe more so than I want to admit.
The turnoff to the homestead was far closer than driving into town. I could have been home an hour ago, eating dinner at Killian and Willow’s and spending time with everyone. Yet the only thing I wanted after today was to drive here. To see her.
Walking in and finding Lucky on her hands and knees, cleaning up another mess, felt like seeing myself today at that site.
Though the debris from the cabin has been long cleared and the trees are already being felled, I can still picture it all exactly as it was that day we hiked through the gorge.
I can still hear the gunshots and feel them whizzing past me. I can still hear Willow’s sobs as the memories returned. I can feel the plea in her voice for my father to tell her where Niall was.
All that pain won’t leave me.
And seeing Lucky in pain was enough to almost break me.
I am not in the mood for my brothers’ bullshit tonight. Not by a longshot.
Killian offers an apologetic grin. “I came because my wife wants me to bring her home a piece of apple pie for dessert.”
He elbows Connor.
Connor scowls at me, still reaching down to rub at his leg where I kicked him. “I just came for the wonderful company.”
The meaning behind the comment isn’t lost on me. People used to enjoy my company. Hell, I used to enjoy my own. But now, everything seems different.
Even this town feels different.
Almost like I don’t know it though I’ve been here my entire life.
Maybe it’s because I’m looking at it a different way, seeing it through different eyes. The eyes of someone who now knows that something so awful could have been going on with none of us even realizing it for an entire year. Or the fact that my mother could have been murdered and her body never found while my father went about living his life on and around McBride Mountain as if nothing had happened.
Any appetite I had is suddenly gone, and I push the plate away.
Connor chuckles. “I knew you weren’t going to eat that.”
“Shut up, asshole.”
Killian climbs from the bench, makes his way to the counter, and leans over it to place his order for pie with Elaine.
Connor scooches around to climb out as well, but pauses next to the table. “Can I offer you a piece of advice?”
