Or maybe I’ve just gotten so used to things being fucked up in my life that everything that’s happened the past week here has barely even been a blip on the radar.
A very messy blip…
I lower myself to my knees and start scooping up the pieces of ceramic that were once a bowl and plate, cringing at the chili scattered across the tile floor that I’ll have to clean up, too.
The chatter in the diner has already returned to a normal level after my epic performance momentarily shattered the mood, but over it, the now far too familiar bells above the door ring.
My spine stiffens, and I peek back to check who entered and cringe.
Why does it have to be him?
Of all the people that could’ve walked in right now, it just had to be Liam McBride.
While there are certainly other faces I would like to see less—ones whose presence would end this little stopover in McBride Mountain the moment they walked through that door—Liam arriving to see me like this, yet again, feels like a slap in the face from karma trying to pay me back for the things that brought me here in the first place.
He’s been in here every day since I arrived, and every time he steps through that door, I lose a little bit of my ability to remain unaffected by his easy smile, calm demeanor, quick laugh, and genuine friendliness.
It gets a little harder to pretend he isn’t the type of white knight hero from the fairytales because he’s the closest to it that I’ve ever met, and I’m Cinderella, on my hands and knees scrubbing the floors. Only, unlike in the children’s stories, I’m cleaning up after myself instead of some wicked step-sisters.
At least this time, Liam didn’t witness the actual event, only the messy aftermath, but instead of making his way to his usual table, he beelines for me and drops to his knees, reaching out for a rather sharp-looking piece of the bowl.
“You don’t have to do that.”
The corner of his lips curls slightly as he leans closer, and his pine and spice scent reaches me over all the smells of the diner. “I know, but I want to. Are you okay?”
I don’t know if he’s talking about the fact that I just destroyed more dishes, or that at this point, I’ve probably broken enough that I should be paying Elaine rather than her paying me. Or maybe he’s asking in the broader sense, because he’s been watching me so closely every day when he comes in here and can obviously tell that my life is a hot fucking mess.
Whatever his reason, tears well in my eyes at the fact that he’s asking at all, that he’s noticed and recognizes how hard all of this has been for me even when he doesn’t have the slightest clue what’s really going on behind the scenes. But just like I always do, I blink them away before they can fall and draw in a deep breath.
“I’m fine.”
You are fine.
I keep telling myself that every day, but the longer I stay in McBride Mountain, the more frequently I’m looking over my shoulder, watching every car that passes, jumping every time those damn bells jingle above the door, spending sleepless nights staring at the street in case I need to grab my bag and Gizmo to run.
The longer I stay, the more I realize I have to go.
Because of these people.
Because they’ve welcomed me and offered me so much I don’t deserve, and bringing this down on them would be the ultimate betrayal of that trust they’ve given me when they don’t even know me.
Liam continues to gather the larger pieces while I pile up the smaller shards on the tray. We both reach for the same fragment, and his fingers brush against mine. Just like that first night, when our hands met, a strange warmth spreads through me with the slightly fleeting touch.
I jerk away, terrified of the heat becoming a flame I won’t be able to put out.
He doesn’t comment on my abrupt reaction. We simply work in silence, neither of us in any particular rush but both of us casting furtive glances, as if we each expect the other to say something at any moment.
But we don’t.
We just work slowly and meticulously.
He was right.
Pretty much everything moves slowly here, and that isn’t a bad thing.
Slow is exactly what I need right now.
A chance to take a full breath.
