The promise in his voice that they'll handle the man responsible for sending that death squad after us should ease some of my fears, but it doesn't.
Not when Liam's life hangs in the balance.
Not when I could lose the one thing I've always wanted and finally have.
Not when I might lose him.
21
LUCKY
I pace the length of the small hospital room and back, the same route I’ve followed continuously for the last several hours. The soles of my Chucks squeak on the linoleum floor, the sound mixing with the steady beeps of the monitors lined beside Liam’s bed.
It feels like being a caged animal…
Worse than being locked in that box meant to be my coffin.
Because it isn’t my life I’m worried about anymore.
I would give it up now if it meant Liam would wake, would open his eyes and give me that easy, smooth smile that always melts away any pain or worry I might have.
It’s what drew me to the youngest McBride in the first place. The way he so easily laughed off my accusation about stealing Gizmo in the diner that morning. How quickly he smoothed my ruffled nerves.
He’s always been an unmovable rock.
So solid.
So reliable.
But now that he hasn’t moved, it’s all I want.
I watch for it, never tearing my gaze off him.
It never comes.
Not a twitch.
Not a sigh.
I keep my eyes locked on him where he lies in the bed, eyes closed and thick lashes spread out across his cheeks, and despite all the machines telling me he’s alive, this vise wrapped around my chest won’t loosen.
It only seems to grow tighter as the minutes tick by and nothing changes.
All that exists now is this endless waiting and doom pacing.
Even when I paused it to change into the clean clothes Willow and Killian brought from the cabin, my body vibrated with the need to keep moving. As if it will somehow make him wake up quicker.
I turn and start another lap across the room, wrapping my arms around myself, as if that will somehow hold me together and prevent me from completely falling apart.
Again.
When we finally got to the hospital and they wheeled him away on the gurney, only Connor’s arms around me kept me from collapsing onto the ER floor.
Only his murmured assurances that they would do everything they could for him kept me from screaming his name.
Only his whispered promise that Liam would be all right kept me from dying right there.
But he isn’t here now to placate me.
