I deserved this pain. I deserved to hurt like I’d hurt everyone else. Lovelyn would get over me, but I’d burn in Hell for her for the rest of my life.
When I’d calmed enough to form words, I called Arran. “Lovelyn will be back in Deadwater in a couple of hours. She needs someone to watch her from the train station until she gets home, then a guard overnight.”
He gave curt agreement, and I hung up without waiting for the inevitable questions. At least my time with the crew could be used for good. They would protect Lovelyn even after they found out she wasn’t mine. Not that she ever really had been.
I paged over to my tracker app and deactivated the one I’d put in her car.
On the app for the cameras at Lovelyn’s house, I hovered my thumb over the button to remove my access. Pressure crushed me from all sides. To never see her again, to never hear her voice…
I tapped. Done. Another swift stab of pain but necessary.
I’d need to return to Deadwater to quit my job and collect my things from the room I’d used in the warehouse. Tyler would be pissed off. I’d carry that regret then offer my services to Primrose Marchant. After all, she’d paid for them.
When she was done with me, I’d take myself off elsewhere. Back to the mercenary life where I only hurt people I was paid to.
I’d done enough damage here.
Chapter 39
Lovelyn
Grey industrial estates flew by, rain spattering the train window. I barely saw it, numb to my surroundings and to the scattering of people in my carriage, everyone lost in their phones.
A whole year had passed since my mother left me. Then on day one of the next, I’d been broken all over again.
At least I hadn’t let myself love him. My one-more-day rule had paid off. The refrain repeated with the rattle of the train on the tracks.
My phone rang, and I jumped and fumbled to collect it from my bag. I didn’t want to answer, but it was the predator hotline, and I never let a call to that ring out if I could avoid it.
Popping in an earphone, I set my laptop on the train’s table while I answered.
“I have this new boyfriend. I hear you can help if they’re acting weird.”
The woman gave details, and I opened the system where I could check for criminal records.
My login failed.
Furrowing my brow, I tried again, typing over the details I was sure were correct.
The same thing happened. Was the system down?
“I’m probably overthinking it, but we’ve only been seeing each other a couple of months, and he doesn’t have kids of his own. I don’t get why he’d want to take my daughter for a sleepover.”
I tried another system. Same thing.
It was my father’s log on, and this time a jaunty message reminded me that my password had changed. Oh God.
“He said he’d take her to his sister’s because she has children, and they’d have fun with a movie night and popcorn, but he never mentioned this sister before, and he was hazy over where she lived. My kid’s non-verbal. She…she wouldn’t be able to tell me if anything happened. I want to trust him but…”
Concern overrode my numb state. “I understand. It’s suspicious. You did the right thing in calling me. I’m looking him up now.”
I had a backup, highly illegal, and not updated in a while, but one I’d thought necessary in case of an event like this. Opening it, I typed in the name then breathed a sigh of relief when it gave me a result. Whatever else was going on, at least I could help this woman. My heart hurt for her and her daughter at what I found.
“He has a history of exactly what you’re worried about.”
I quietly spoke the details with a glance around to make sure no one could overhear. The woman sobbed but thanked me and hung up.
Left in silence, I fired off the details to Shade, who handled the would-be attackers, then stared at my machine.
