"How can I refuse an offer like that?"
Once we enter my apartment, I regret inviting Declan in. Research papers cover every surface. Books are stacked inprecarious towers. My couch is buried under three days of laundry I haven't folded.
"Sorry about the mess," I mutter, frantically clearing space. "I wasn't expecting company."
"It's fine." He looks around with genuine interest, his gaze landing on my bookshelf, then on the framed photo of me at graduation. "You were younger here."
"Sixteen. Just graduating high school."
He turns, eyes widening. "Sixteen?"
"I graduated from high school early and got into college the same year." I shrug, self-conscious. "My parents thought it was important to accelerate because of my brilliance."
"What did you think?"
No one ever asked what I thought or wanted.
"I wanted to make them proud so they'd notice me." I pour wine into two mismatched glasses, handing him one.
“They must be very proud of you.”
"That's impossible. Marcus already makes them proud. I just make them confused about why I've not achieved as much as him."
His hand tightens almost imperceptibly on the glass.
"Their loss."
The words are simple, but the way he says them with absolute conviction makes my chest crack open a little.
We settle on the couch, carefully maintaining space between us, and drink in silence. I occasionally glance at his lips and his hands, wondering if he'll make a move again.
"Can I ask you something?" I hear myself say. "Why did you kiss me?"
He takes a long drink. "Because I wanted to."
"That's not an answer."
"It's the only answer I have."
His green eyes find mine, then fall to my lips, darkening with desire. My breath hitches. I shift closer, my mind already dreaming of what his lips would do to mine.
"I saw you and I wanted you. Simple as that," he says, moving away.
Disappointment slams into my chest.
"Nothing about this is simple."
"No, it's not," he agrees, looking away.
Silence stretches between us, heavy with everything unsaid. Should I ask him to kiss me? Will that make him stare at me with that raging desire he had during the gala? But after that, what next?
Declan is crude and a playboy. Alluring but always annoying. It's almost impossible for anything tangible to work between us, except a fling.
And I deserve more than that.
That's why I want King.
King who is protective and the right choice for my future, even if it's Declan's kisses I crave. If I tell Declan about King, he'll see why we can't be together. Or at least, I'll make myself understand why Declan is the worse choice.
