“Possibly.”
“I feel different.”
Her words make me chuckle because she is so innocent.
“It wouldn’t work that fast.”
“No.” She giggles, which strikes like a missile in the heart.
“I mean, you made me a woman today, your woman, and I am so happy about that.”
Kill me now.
My inner voice is raging at me because why am I such a bastard? I don’t deserve a woman like Rose, and it’s stabbing me on repeat in my heart. She deserves better, and yet here we are now. There is no going back, and so it’s up to me to be the best husband possible to her because I will not be like my father.
“I want to tell you something, Rose.”
I take a deep breath as she plants a soft kiss on my chest. Intimacy creating a bond that I never expected.
“Okay.”
She pulls back and stares at me with a loving gaze, and my heart plummets off a cliff. I wonder how long it will take before she looks at me very differently and I push that image away and enjoy this for as long as it lasts.
“When my father instructed me to come for you, it was for the same reason as every other fucker out there.”
She stiffens, and I sigh inside.
Well, that didn’t take long.
I’m not sure why I’m telling her this; perhaps I should have said something before I fucked her, and I grip her a little tighter.
“I wasn’t happy about that.”
“I see.”
Her world crashes before me, and I reach out and gaze what I hope is lovingly into her eyes and hiss, “I never expected you.”
Her eyes drop, and I force her to look at me as I grip her face, commanding her to stare into my eyes as I whisper, “Then I met you, and you blew my world apart. It became so important for me to protect you. To keep the others away because the thought of you with anyone other than me drove me crazy. It didn’t take long for me to realize that Iwould kill to keep you, Rose, and not because of my father’s wishes.”
“Then what?”
The pain in her eyes replaced the euphoria of earlier, and it’s now the most important thing in my world to restore that.
“Because it hit me hard that you were mine. Not because of your inheritance or my father’s instructions, or because I wanted anything other than you. I can’t imagine my life without you, and I never expected to feel like that, but well–” I heave a deep breath. “What I’m saying is, I married you for real today becauseIwanted to and not because my father told me to.”
“I see.”
Her eyes lose a little of their pain, and she nods, before pulling away and sitting up, clutching the sheets high against her body.
My heart is aching as I sense I have ruined what we had already, and she whispers, “It doesn’t matter. I wanted to marry you, Julius. I asked you, remember, and you said no, and for some reason I don’t believe that was part of your game. Whatever your reasons were have changed, I can see that, and yes, it sucks hearing that you were on the same mission as the others, but you were successful for a reason.”
She turns and smiles almost guiltily.
“You may be surprised to learn that I’m not very religious.”
She giggles at the shock on my face and shrugs. “The convent was my sanctuary—a place of peace and safety—but I always knew it was never meant to be my home. The hardest part of leaving was walking away without my sisters. Then you stepped into my life and showed me that I could stand on my own. You helped me see that I’m stronger thanI ever believed. So, I suppose what I’m trying to say, Julius, is don’t worry—I think I used you too.”
She stares at me with a guilty expression, and I move to sit beside her, grasping her hand where my rings sit proudly on her wedding finger.
