Ican’t believe I just did that. If anything, I’m mortified because what must he think of me?
It’s a good job the theater is already in darkness because it will take the entire show to drain the blood that is heating my face right now.
I couldn’t help myself. It was an impetuous act of bravery that doesn’t come around very often, showing me that I’m already more comfortable with him than anyone I’ve ever met.
He’s a man who doesn’t take no for an answer. He buys what he wants without regard for anyone else. My heart flutters every single time, and I know it shouldn’t, but I can’t help myself.
I want to be close to him, closer than I’ve been to anyone, and I can’t explain it.
The music starts, and my mind shifts to the stage, all the time conscious of the man beside me, wondering where my infatuation will end.
Despite my upbringing, we have seen very little in the way of shows. The ballet at Christmas was the only concession,and yet this musical is infectious, loud and a spectacle I can’t get enough of.
I am surrounded by happiness and soon forget my awkwardness and turn to Julius with a happy smile, causing him to reach for my hand and squeeze it hard.
We are back in the easy friendship we were building, and I’m happy about that. I like these moments when it’s just the two of us sharing something amazing.
The champagne arrives, and I sip tentatively, loving the bubbles, but I’m still not sure of the taste.
As the show progresses, I find myself sipping deeper mouthfuls until the taste adjusts and I discover it’s not as unpleasant anymore.
If anything, I’m giddy on life right now. This is freedom. This is what I have been dreaming of, and it’s all thanks to Julius Ravera, a man I never imagined was waiting for me.
So many times my thoughts turn to my biggest problem, the inheritance that is hanging over my head like an albatross. Money corrupts and destroys souls, and it’s certainly been the case for me. I don’t want it but I don’t want my stepmother to have it and I’m balancing between freedom in a prison of my choice, the convent where I will never be free to this degree, or marriage to an unknown man who only wants me for my money.
Julius has money. It appears he has a lot of it, and I’m still unsure if he intends to join in the challenge or is only messing with me.
He probably can’t think of anything worse than being married to an inexperienced girl like me, which hurts, but I kind of understand. He’s a man, a handsome one at that, and could have his pick of any woman. Why would he settle for an inexperienced novice fresh out of the convent? I’m delusional if I even think he would.
There’s something incredibly romantic about choosing him even though I shouldn’t. He is not the man I should want because it’s obvious he doesn’t hold the same values as I do. But he is the dark to my light, the shade to my sun and the tempest to my calm waters. A hint of dangerous in a world I know nothing about, and yet with him beside me, I am free to enjoy the pleasures it brings and leave the worrying to him.
My breath comes fast as the idea grows roots. Could it really be a possibility, or am I deluded? I slide my gaze sideways and my heart flips as he laughs at something happening on the stage, an easy concentration that he doesn’t allow to happen very often. It’s as if he is always on guard around me, and yet it makes me feel safe.
He catches my gaze, and his smile softens, and his eyes flash. He reaches for my hand and pulls it so it rests gently in his lap, and I melt inside. Physical contact with a man is something I’ve often wondered about, and my body is alight with an interest I never saw coming.
It’s as if he is inside my soul, caressing it, breathing life into it, seducing it even and as I give in to the sensation, it’s as if my body has its own agenda. I am desperate to be closer to him, the tension building between us is palpable and I swallow hard, imagining his rough jaw brushing against mine.
Then the show ends along with my daydream, and as we stand to applaud the cast, I am sad the moment has gone.
“Did you enjoy that?” He asks as we make our way outside, and I nod.
“Thank you. I loved every minute of it.”
He smiles, surprising me by resting his arm along my shoulders. My breath catches as we walk, and my mind buzzes being so close to him.
The crowd makes walking slow, and he says over the noise, “The night is still young. Would you like to go dancing?”
“Dancing?”
I have never danced, and yet seeing the cast on stage reminded me how much I want to experience it.
“I would love that.”
I gaze up at him, completely under his spell, and his soft expression causes my heart to flutter.
As soon as I met Julius, I understood he was a dangerous man, and that opinion hasn’t changed. If anything, he is even more dangerous now because my heart has stopped trying to protect me from him. He is the fire I warned myself about, but I’m still holding out my hands to feel the heat, and if he only says one word, asks me for one thing, I will agree willingly.
He points to the bar across the street. “That place should have a dance floor. Come, let’s make memories to help with your decision.”
