“I’m sorry, it’s just, well…”
Her words drift, and she sighs. “I’ve never been on my own, Julius. My entire life I’ve lived with my sisters, and I was kind of hoping to learn what that is like. To experience freedom and make my own way. It appears that I swapped one protected world for another, which wasn’t the idea.”
She shakes her head. “I’m sorry, I don’t wish to sound ungrateful, but well–”
“Well, what?”
I’m aware I am holding my breath as she leans forward and peers into my eyes with the most trusting expression I’ve ever seen and smiles. “This might not be the right thing to tell you, but it may help you understand.”
“Go on.”
I am resisting the urge to pull her closer. To sample those sweet lips and understand what innocence tastes like. I am mesmerized by this woman, and I expect it’s because she is untouched, forbidden almost, and corruptible. It’s like a red flag to a bull, and I’m not known to be a man of restraint. I see, I want, I take, I discard. That is the motto that I live by, and yet part of me wonders that if I took Rose without care, I would live hating myself forever.
“It’s silly really, and you’ll consider me a fool.”
The blush that steals across her pretty face causes me to smile.
“I won’t judge. It’s just the two of us in the clouds right now with only the angels to hear you speak.”
Fuck, since when did I speak like this?
I grab a glass of wine and almost down it in one because, fuck me, I hate this new me.
“There’s a gardener at the convent.”
What the fuck!
I say nothing, but I’m already sharpening my anger.
“He’s young, a little older than I am, I guess, and I’venever said a word to him, but I can’t stop thinking about him.”
I swallow hard, steadying my breathing, because it appears my little angel isn’t quite so innocent after all.
“I’ve watched him through the bars of our small window in the sunshine and wondered what it would be like to talk to him. I feel different when I look at him, and when Sister Agatha told me of the test, I wasn’t horrified, just excited. You see, Julius, freedom is about choices, some good and some bad. I want to make choices—my own choices. To date perhaps and to spend time with friends who aren’t related to me. I suppose the reason I’m telling you is because it’s something I’ve never had. No friends, no boyfriends and no sleepovers with the girls or trips out. How can I do that when I’m under your lock and key? It wouldn’t be a proper test, don’t you agree?”
I swear I want to murder this gardener and probably will, just to scratch the itch that’s bugging me right now. She wants to date and to experience freedom. Not on my watch.
However, now is not the time to reveal that, so I smile.
“Your wish is my command, baby girl. If you want an apartment, you will have one. Your job will be surrounded by other people, and you will be free to form relationships.”
“Really.” Her eyes sparkle. “Are you sure?”
“Of course.”
The words grind against my teeth because how the hell is that going to happen? Rose’s job will be as my wife and the mother to our children, and that will be enough.
But she doesn’t need to know that yet.
There is still time to change her mind, and failure is not an option.
8
ROSE
Julius has surprised me. At first he scared the hell out of me, and yet now I see behind the dark menace and find a man who is sweet, kind and rather caring.
He is not bad to look at either, and despite not being the gardener I have fixated on for a while now; he is more. Way more.
