I could ask Hector.
Except I’d rather swallow glass.
I leaned against a lamppost, closing my eyes. The city moved around me — cars honking, people talking, someone yelling into a phone — but it all felt distant. Like I was underwater.
A notification buzzed on my phone. I pulled it out, expecting a message from Delia or maybe a reminder about a bill I’d forgotten to pay.
It was Colin.
Colin
Hey, sis. You okay? You sounded weird on the phone yesterday.
My throat tightened, but I replied.
Sarah
Just tired. Long week.
Colin
You sure? You can tell me if something’s wrong.
Sarah
I’m fine. Promise.
A lie.
Another one to add to the pile. I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to say,I’m drowning. I’m terrified. They found me again.But I couldn’t. If he knew, he’d get on the next flight home. He’d drop everything and come running.
And then they’d have him.
I shoved my phone back into my pocket and kept walking, my steps slower now. He deserved better than this. Better than me. Better than the mess our father left behind.
By the time I reached the subway entrance, my anger had cooled into something heavier. Something like resignation. Something like fear.
I paused at the top of the stairs, gripping the railing.
I needed to talk to Hector again.
Not about ballet — not yet.
About the advance.
But the thought of walking back into that office made my stomach flip. He’d look at me with that unreadable expression, the one that made me feel like he was dissecting me molecule by molecule. And then he’d ask why. And I’d have to lie. Or tell the truth. And both options felt impossible.
I took a shaky breath and descended the stairs.
The train screeched into the station as I reached the platform. People pushed past me, the usual New York chaos swirling around like a storm. I stepped inside and grabbed a pole, letting the motion of the train rock me.
My reflection stared back at me in the darkened window — tired eyes, tense jaw, hair frizzing from stress and humidity. I barely recognized myself.
I used to be hopeful.
I used to believe things would get better.
Now I was just trying to survive long enough to keep my brother alive.
