I start to respond, but she’s got a point. So I do what both Evelyn and my mother would agree is the smart thing: I shut up and let her talk.
“I understand desperation. Most of Phoebe’s life has been me moving in and out of it to make sure she has food, clothes, and a roof over her head. Sometimes duty calls you to do what has to be done, even if it’s less than ideal.”
It hardly covers it. But it’s true.
“I just want to save the farm,” I say. “I can’t handle losing anything else.”
I can’t remember the last time I was this honest with anyone.
“And I just want to keep Phoebe’s world steady. No whiplash. If we do this, shecan’tbe the collateral, Aiden. I don’t know how to do that.”
She breaks eye contact and studies the far wall. For a second, I think I’ve lost her. But in the silence, I realize an old truth: my heart never really healed from losing her.
She deserves better than this broken version of me, someone steady for her daughter and reliable for her.
Right now, I’m neither.
But for the first time since I lost my parents, I want to be.
“If this has been on the table since your dad died, why haven’t you just gotten married?” she whispers. “You’d already have the money, and the farm would be safe.” Her eyes lock back on mine, like she’s searching for answers she knows only I have.
And she deserves those truths.
“Because I couldn’t marry someonejustto save the farm, and it wasn’t urgent until recently. My countdown started around the same time you showed up.” I lower my voice, steeling for the words I’m terrified to give her. “Chloe, if I’ve got to get married in order to save my land, I want it to be you. You’re the only woman I want to call my wife.”
She doesn’t say anything, but there’s a look in her eyes that spurs me forward.
“I don’t expect you to feel the same overnight. Or even at all, if you don’t feel that way about me anymore,” I say quietly. “But I can’t lie to you about what this means to me.”
“Why?” It’s barely a whisper.
“I could give you a hundred reasons.” I risk it and cover her hand with mine. “But I’ll give it to you straight, because you deserve that.”
She inhales, her fingers curling under mine.
“I wanted a life with you back then—a big, beautiful, messy life—and I was too afraid to choose it. But I’m not afraid now. Your finger is the only one I ever imagined putting my ring on.”
“Aiden,” she whispers.
“If you don’t want that, that’s okay. I promise. The farm is still open to you and Phoebe. What happens from here on out is at your pace, and hers. No strings. Just a safe place to land.”
As the truths I’ve kept locked in my heart for a decade leave my lips, the chill I’ve felt inside for two years thaws a little more.
fifteen
CHLOE
Stars dance in my vision.
I can’t tell if I’ve forgotten to breathe or if I’ve just lost my head hearing Aiden admit he wanted a life with me.
Still wants?
It all tangles up between my heart and my head, and his hand on mine is the only grounding thing in the room—like an electric blanket that smells like pine needles.
It’s an illusion, though.Nothingabout this is safe, not for the hearts involved. A year on paper is still a year in Phoebe’s life, and suddenly all I can focus on are those stupid web articles about how you only get eighteen Christmases.
My phone is a graveyard of client refund requests, texts from Daniel about the studio and the apartment, and texts from Abby demanding to know how things went. I’m honestly not sure how to respond to any of it.
