And Daesah had been much more likely to confide in him instead of their parents, especially if it was based upon one of her intuitions.
“She did not confide it to me,” his father said, and for a moment, there was a sadness in the slouch of his shoulders, but he quickly firmed them again as he reached inside of his robes and took out a slim soft, leather-bound volume in dark green. His father ran his fingertips over the material in a way that showed that his grief for a lost daughter was not so far from him. He abruptly held it out to Khoth. “You should read this. Your mother and I have. You might find it… useful in some way.”
Khoth carefully took the journal from his father’s slightly shaking hand. When they were younger, his sister had journaled extensively, but she had used the online servers and voice recordings. She’d explained to him that putting her thoughts outside of herself by speaking them aloud or writing them had enabled her to see them more clearly and understand what she might do.
But ever since she had joined the military, he had thought she’d abandoned this practice because of the danger of others reading them and questioning whether her Xi and Xa were in alignment. The fact that she had chosen to write them in non-electronic form was… well, it showed she feared these words being written.
“What is in here?” Khoth asked, unwilling to open the journal out in the open. In fact, he stashed it quickly in the hidden pocket over his heart.
“I believe your sister was… seeking answers to questions that were unorthodox,” his father said carefully. “In truth, I did not understand much of what she wrote.”
He means based upon one of her feelings like the one she had me investigate with that Xols.
“Did she say exactly what she was investigating on Earth?” Khoth asked, knowing that it would be better and more accurate if he were to simply read the journal himself. But his father’s interpretation of it would have value. His Justiciar’s adept mind could see things he could not.
“She thought that the Altaeth’s deepest secret was there,” his mother’s voice came from behind him.
He shot around, surprised at her presence, as he had not heard her approach. And, if he were fully honest with himself, he had not expected her to come. His heart lifted at her presence though he tried not to show just how much.
She stood straight and tall and strong. She did not move to touch him. Thaf’ell did not touch much except in private. Yet this was the moment of his departure. They might not see one another for many cycles. Perhaps he should make the first move?
Khoth lifted his right hand to briefly touch her left forearm, but she sidestepped the touch. His hand fell back to his side. He felt as if he had been stabbed through the chest. His Xi screamed even as his Xa kept him from saying anything at all.
With a voice that sounded almost mechanical, he remarked, “I cannot see how that is possible. There is only one crashed Altaeth vessel on Earth, is there not?”
“Yes, a Colossus warship.” She gave a clipped nod. “But it is not like the others we have discovered. It is… singular. Larger and with an intact Core that no one has been able to access.”
Her eyes slid over his shoulder. He resisted the urge to swing around. But he heard voices that he recognized. He gritted his teeth. It was Councillor Ardath Ulgex. If she were here, any signs of affection from his mother to him would be used to undermine her rule and, perhaps, his punishment. The sensation of being stabbed eased at that realization. She had not simply avoided his affection because she was still angry with him. With another wave of emotion--this time anger instead of hurt, he realized that Councillor Ardath Ulgex had purposefully come to the hanger bay with her group of odious attendants to ensure that they could not have a proper goodbye. His Xa told him that this was wise of his mother’s enemy, but his Xi screamed it was cruel, heartless and unfair.
“How are we not able to breach its Core?” Khoth asked with a deep frown.
“Read the reports,” his mother said. “You will find out everything that has been attempted. Perhaps you will think of something new.” And then with the faintest of sighs, she stated, “It is time for you to depart.”
Khoth’s mouth went dry. Councillor Ardath Ulgex was still lingering nearby. There would be no words of tenderness. No private goodbyes. No final embraces. He bowed to both of his parents.
“I will discover what Daesah intended to,” he told them stiffly and crossed both arms over his chest before turning on his heel towards the Exarch.
He did not look back at his parents even as his chest grew tighter and heart heavier with every step. These physical reactions just showed how his Xi and Xa were fracturing. The gangway automatically began to lower as he approached his ship as the Exarch read the sensors in his exo-suit. He started up the gangway and only when he reached the Exarch’s threshold did his father speak.
“Khoth,” his father said.
Khoth paused and turned to see his father. “Yes?”
Councillor Ardath Ulgex had stopped her pretense of speaking to her lackeys and was clearly listening to what his father had to say. He grew tense as his father stared at him and his mother stared at his father. Was she willing him to speak or to keep silent?
Finally, his father said, “There is meaning to all things.”
It was something that Justiciars often said. After all, the very central philosopher of the Justiciar was that the Rules’ language had specific and concrete meanings. But this phrase was from an older time when the Thaf’ell had been primitive and believed in signs and portents and fate. Though Councillor Ardath Ulgex would never be able to be sure in which way his father meant that, even if Khoth was. Khoth nodded, and after a final bow, he retreated into the Exarch.
“Exarch, I repeat, is there some difficulty?” The Gate Control officer almost sounded alarmed now.
Khoth opened up the channel. “No, all systems are optimal.”
“Then set your destination and start your course. There is heavy traffic to use the Gate,” the Gate Control officer’s voice was officious and crisp once more.
“Understood,” Khoth said and laid in the destination for Earth.
The spinning wedges slowed then stopped. The fiery red glow appeared followed by the silvery tunnel. Khoth began to pilot the Exarch forward. Just as he was about to enter the Gate, his screen suddenly split into two and showed him the Gate ahead and Haseon behind him even though he had not set the controls for this. His sister would have teased him that it was the Exarch reading his mind. But he knew better. He was grateful for the glitch as it allowed him to view Haseon one last time without having to feel guilt that his Xi and Xa were not in alignment.
