He could only protect the boys as much as they let him. Scott was thriving and all the reports from his professors were glowing with praise. James had the same drive that lived inside Jesse. James would accomplish what he set out to do because there were no other options for him.
The respect that he held for James would have to be enough. They would move on from the incident earlier. Jacob would stop trying to fit James into the box that he’d once believed would keep the younger man safe. It was time to loosen the reins. James didn’t belong to him, would never belong to him. Jacob was merely the landlord that offered a helping hand. That would have to be enough.
Jacob sniffed.
He had realized how tight he’d be holding on to the hope that his happily ever after would mirror his twin’s.
Just because Jesse was settling down and would soon be calling Lake his husband didn’t mean that Jacob’s fate would be similar. He’d protested numerous times that James was too young for him. James was the same age as most of the students that Jacob taught.
A crush. Respect. That was all it was. James was a smart, driven young man who would find a partner his own age that he could build a family and future with.
Where did that leave Jacob? Alone once again. Not that being alone was all bad.
When he was alone, he didn’t have someone looking too closely at the scars that Jacob pretended weren’t there. Someone that questioned his need for a closet full of blankets, more clothes than any man should own, and a house too big for just him.
Jacob could start the new semester like he planned, giving his students his full attention and the best education that their money was paying for. He would visit Jesse and Lake. Be the brat tamer in the club, as they liked to call him. Visit the newfriends he’d made. Maybe he’d even go on vacation over the summer. It had been a very long time since he’d done that. He’d always wanted to visit Europe. To see the places that he’d only read about.
Jesse was the traveler of the two of them. He had business ventures all around the world. He had properties all around the world as well. Jacob had a list of every property that was in either in Jesse or Jacob’s name. Did he need the list? Yes. Jesse was always buying him something or putting their shared money to use to make more.
Only five months of classes and Jacob could go anywhere that he wanted.
The plan to travel had always been there. Sure, Jacob had hoped to have a partner to share the experience with but maybe it was time he stopped putting it off. Admitted that he was probably going to be alone so he might as well start living his life the way he wanted.
Closing his eyes, Jacob was going to force himself to sleep. The affordable housing project would be perfect to keep him busy until he could return to his classroom.
Chapter Six
James
The cape around his neck was heavy on his shoulders. A reminder that it was there. Staring down at the special candle he’d picked up from the local grocery store, James hoped he wasn’t making a big mistake.
James had gone to the store first thing that morning to fulfill his plan.
This was either going to be brilliant or the biggest mistake of his life.
After spending the night playing with his new action figure, James slept better than he could ever remember. Even though he was worried about where he stood with Jacob, there was something about losing himself in playtime that relaxed him.
He still didn’t think he was a little. Not that he was an expert. The last week when Michael, Jackson, and Finn had been visiting was the most exposure he’d had to Michael’s little side. His older brother had really embraced his regression in the year and a half that James and Scott had been in Surf City.
Michael spoke about his little friend group all the time.
James couldn’t imagine sitting around playing with toys with his friends. Well, Maybe Josh. But Josh wasn’t a little either. Did Daddies play with toys? He’d seen Finn play with Michael. Although it was usually Jackson crawling around on the floor with Michael. Except when Michael was working on one of his puzzles. Michael had refused to even open the box to thepuzzle that James and Scott had bought him for Christmas until Jackson was on the other side of the room.
Maybe Michael needed to stop comparing his brother’s relationship with his partners. They had to be unique.
Josh might be better to ask. Josh had already proven that he would sit and talk to James about his new interests. As good friends that he and Josh were, James hadn’t had a clue that Josh identified as a Daddy. Josh was so different from Michael’s Daddy, Finn.
If there were Daddies so different than each other, it had to mean the same for littles, right? Not that James was a little. Toys were cool though. He’d never grown out of liking to put Legos together. When he found out Michael as a little had the newest Lego set, he’d been so jealous. And turning on cartoons after a rough day did make him laugh and smile. So not a little but not an adult either.
It was all so confusing.
James had questions. Of course he did. He knew he could reach out to Michael or even Finn. That was just beyond embarrassing. Josh might be a good source to bounce his thoughts off. But one person kept coming to mind.
He’d put the candle on top of the cake that he finished the night before.
There was no way that he was going to let all his hard work go to waste. Okay, his and Jacob’s hard work. And the cake was good. James had cut the cake in half since the whole thing was too much for one person. He was using logic here to be greedy. Not that he thought Jacob would mind. Jacob might not even want any cake. Not after James had been such an asshole.
But he was going to put that candle on top of the cake and leave it for Jacob. A peace offering that he hoped the professor would understand.
