And he was the one who would bleed for it.
CHAPTER 13
ELLIOT
“I’m fucking sick of this!” I screamed, throwing my journals across my room until they hit the wall with a resounding thunk. “Who does he think he is?”
Blood dripped down my wrist from the fresh cuts scored into my skin. I watched it bead and fall, detached. Like it belonged to someone else. Pain was easier than the empty stretch inside my chest where Mum’s voice used to live.
How dare he make me feel like he cared for me. Cleaning my wounds. Holding me until I fell asleep. Then disappearing for a whole day after the most awkward conversation known to man.
Every time I thought things had changed between us. Every time I thought he saw me. Really saw me. The next second he abandoned me. I was sick of him building me up only to tear me down again. I was sick of not being enough for anyone to stay.
The sun had turned the sky a shade of orange that seemed like the whole world was burning. Maybe a fiery death wouldn't be such a bad thing. It was better than trying to convince myself the slow ache in my chest was just hunger or boredom or something ordinary.
My phone vibrated on the nightstand and for a split second my heart skipped when I thought it would be Anthony but I was wrong.
Unknown Number
You alive, beach boy?
I frowned at the screen. My thumbs hovered over the keys as I tried to work out how to respond.
Who is this?
Three dots appeared. Then disappeared.
Unknown Number
Wow. Rude. It’s Mia. From the beach. The bonfire night?
My stomach dropped. I never gave her my number. How the hell did she have mine? I stared at the message too long.
How did you get this number?
Mia
Relax Drax had it. You were in his phone from the night at the beach, you were playing some retro game called snake? IDK.
Right. That felt wrong. Everything felt wrong lately. But flickers of that night had come back to me. That was just a part of it that hadn’t…yet.
Mia
A few of us are hanging out tonight. You should come. There’s an old fairground out past Miller Road. You’ll like it. It’s weird and dead and kind of perfect.
Weird and dead and perfect. Something in that slid under my ribs. I didn’t respond right away. I stared at the wall. At the place Anthony had leaned against the other day. At the faint crease in my blanket where he’d been last night.
I told myself I didn’t want to sit in this room alone tonight. That was the truth. The lie was that I told myself I wanted to go. I didn’t. I just wanted to disappear.
Maybe.
Her reply came instantly.
Mia
Come ooooonnnnn!!! You need to get out of your head. We’ll be there in like an hour.
Out of my head. I pressed my phone to my chest. That was exactly what I wanted.
