“What?”
“All of your instincts, stamp them down. Want to see him? Don’t. Want to declare your every loving devotion? Walk away. Want to wear his blood in a vial around your neck?” He makes a buzzer sound. “Abort. Next.”
“When have I ever wanted to wear someone’s blood?”
“Just getting in before you do.”
Hart might be trying to sound like he doesn’t care, but he actually made a suggestion. One that, under the derision and sarcasm, he actually meant. He’s here. Supporting me.
Maybe we’re not as broken as I thought.
“What do you think?” I ask Hudson, who’s watching me carefully.
“I think …” He sighs and pats me on the knee. “I love you, Kenny, but I think Hart might be onto something.”
“With the blood?”
“With the playing it cool. Tone it down. Remember that you guys are only at the beginning of your relationship, and stop trying to jump to the end. Because once you’re there, what else do you have to look forward to?”
“Happiness?”
His lips droop. “You’re not happy?”
“With Ziggy, I am.”
“Yeah, but you can’t rely on someone else for that.”
I can’t believe he, of all people, is saying that. “Really? When are youeverhappy?”
“Almost never. But I’m working on it. And that included walking away from Wilde when I didn’t think he could give me what I needed.”
That gives me the boost I need. Hudson has always been content to accept being treated like crap in relationships, and if he can draw the line and change, then maybe I can too. Maybe it’s possible for me not to smother Ziggy and actually get to keep him.
I really don’t want to hope and be disappointed, but optimism is as easy to me as breathing.
“I can do this.”
Hudson gives me a thumbs-up, and Hart’s expression closes down like he’s bored with us both, but before he can disappear on me, I reach over and pluck his sleeve.
“Thanks. Who knew my brother was a genius?”
“Yeah, well, out of the two of us, someone had to get the brains.”
“Thank you for giving me all the looks.”
He sneers and flips me off. “We’re identical, moron.”
“Then why am I the one who gets all the dates?”
“Oh, I dunno.” He pretends to think. “Maybe because you like people, and I like them anywhere other than near me?”
I swing my finger between me and Hudson. “I know of two people you’ll never get rid of.”
“Kill me now,” he mutters, standing up as I blow kisses his way. “I’m going into town.”
Some of my good mood fizzles. “You don’t want to stay and hang out here for a bit?”
“I’d rather stab myself through each individual finger than be in this town a second longer than I have to be.”
