All week, Ziggy’s been within arm’s reach, and it’s only going to take so long before I cross those invisible lines between us. The time I thought I needed still hasn’t come, and the longer I deny myself, the more I want him.
Ziggy knows it too.
At least, I think he does. If I’m reading him right, he can see the way I’m struggling, but he hasn’t made a move to put me out of my misery. Which only cements he’s as serious about this friendship as I am.
I glance back down at Caroline, and the interest is clear in her blue eyes. In the way she made an effort to come here. How she’s putting herself out there again, even though the last time didn’t work out so well for her.
She’sreallypretty. I can’t deny that. Sexual attraction isn’t the issue, but it’s not her personality either. We’ve never had a problem holding a conversation, and I genuinely do like her.
So where’s that spark?
The spark that I get for literally any other person who’ll give me the time of day? It’s not here. It wasn’t there when the bartender flirted with me the other night either. I’d like to think I’m maturing and finally kicking the habit of emotionalpatheticness, but after thirty years, there’s no way. It’s who I am. I’m stuck with me.
And I have a sneaky feeling I know where that spark has gone.
Ziggy stole it.
It would be so much easier if Caroline pulled all those feelings from me. Trying a relationship with her would be zero risk. Sure, it’d be awkward at the diner, but losing her from my life would be a nonevent. Ziggy though? It’s just my luck that the one person outside of my family who I want to keep has the biggest risk attached to him.
If I lost Ziggy, I don’t think I could breathe.
“Why are you here?” I ask suddenly, and it’s only after the words are out that I realize how rude they sounded. “Not that I don’t appreciate the visit, of course, but it’s out of the blue.”
I’ve knocked her off guard, and she pauses, almost at the tree line, and offers me a hesitant smile. “Thought you might like a friendly face and an excuse for a few hours off work.”
“I don’t need an excuse though. No one’s forcing me to do anything.”
Her light brown eyebrows curve downward, and I immediately feel like a dick.
“Sorry, I’m … feeling a bit off today. It’s nothing personal, but … you remember what I said last time, don’t you?”
“I remember you giving me some story about the distance and having to work.”
“It wasn’t a story. You made the drive; you know how far it is.”
“Two hours.” She shrugs, shoulders tan from the sun, with the thin straps of her dress holding on for dear life. “It was nice and scenic.”
“I have nothing to offer a relationship right now?—”
“And I’m not asking for one.” She plants her hands on her hips. “I thought we could get to know each other better. Away from the diner. Maybe become friends and see if there’s anything here.”
Friends, I can do. It’s not like you can ever have too many of them. “Friends?”
She nods quickly. “Exactly.”
“As long as you know that I’m not looking for anything romantic. That’s not on the table.”
“You’ve said. It’s fine. I get it.”
“Okay …”
Do friends drive two hours to see other friends on a whim? I have no idea. Apparently, I’ve never been a great friend to people, which checks out when I’ve always been so focused on that dream of getting married and settling down. Maybe learning how to be friends with Caroline will help me when it comes to Ziggy?
Even I can admit that sounds like grasping at straws, but I’m up for anything.
“So …” She sways side to side, making her dress go all swishy around her. “Want to show me around this place? Hart said you guys own the whole thing. That’s impressive.”
Ownership is a loose term, given all the headaches we went through with Wilde. “Sure. Follow me.”
