The handwriting taunts my vision until Hart groans and pulls my attention back to him.
“Can you go anywhere without someone wanting to sleep with you?”
I shrug and stuff the number into my pocket. “We’re good-looking guys.”
“I look nothing like you.”
“We’re identical twins. You know what identical means.” Though there is something to his comment. I did heavy weights before moving here, and between eating enough to keep my energy up and how heavy I was lifting, I’m a solid motherfucker. I’m thick, where Hart is our natural, wiry build. He also refuses to grow facial hair, and my mustache is one of my favorite things because of how positively my partners react to it.
We ignore each other and eat in silence. It hasn’t always been like this. Growing up, we had each other’s backs, even though we’re so different, and we shared an apartment together before we moved here. But over the years, it’s like Hart has gotten more bitter, and I’ve gotten more hopeful, and that common ground we used to meet on is now on a separate continent.
I miss the days when my brothers and I were fiercely on each other’s side. When it was the three of us against the world.
Some days, I wonder if that’s why I’m so quick to latch onto people. That I’m looking for that partnership I’ve lost and desperately crave.
It’s why, as much as I’d like to call Caroline, I won’t. It’s time to focus on myself for a bit.
“I’m going to go talk to her,” I tell Hart, and at hisof course you areeye roll, I add, “So she knows why I won’t call. I don’t want her waiting and thinking she did anything wrong.”
“You have no obligation just because she gave you her number.”
“I know that.” It isn’t about obligation; it’s about making sure she doesn’t get her feelings hurt. “But I want to anyway.”
“Ten bucks says you’ve named all your future children before you’ve gotten back to the table.”
I don’t give him the benefit of an answer as I leave my empty plate behind and approach where Caroline is behind the counter. She’s restocking the display, and the second she notices me, her face lights up.
“Hey,” she says. “Do you need anything?”
“Yeah, uh, do you have a second?” I tilt my head toward a quieter corner.
“Of course.” She hurries to meet me on the customer side, and I lead her away from the other people here, guilt gnawing away at my insides.
“I wanted to tell you that I’m not going to call you.” The second her face falls, I quickly clarify. “Not that I don’t want to! You’re very pretty and sweet, and I think it’s so cool that you gave me your number.”
Her disappointment turns to confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m …” I scrunch up my face, already knowing how this is going to sound before I even say it. “Working on myself. That’s not some bullshit excuse either. My brothers and I bought that small town—Wilde’s End?”
She nods that she knows it.
“It’s a lot of work, and it’s far away. We don’t get much reception up there either, and I have a bad habit of dating someone and getting too attached too soon, so I decided that while we’re here, the town is my only focus. No relationships. No dating. No numbers.” I pull the paper out and hold it up between us. “I wanted you to know that it wasn’t anything you did.”
“Right …” She takes the paper from me. “This isn’t just you, like, letting me down easy?”
“No, really. Back home, you’re exactly the kind of girl I’d go for.”
Her sweet smile is back. “In that case, I’m going to take it as a not right now.”
You know what? I don’t hate it. “Do whatever you need to as long as you know that I’m not promising you anything, and I have absolutely no idea how long this build is going to take us.”
“I get the feeling you’re the kind of guy worth waiting on.”
Well, if that doesn’t make me feel like a giant inflatable, I don’t know what will.
I’m grinning as I leave her behind and rejoin Hart.
“Let me guess,” he drags out in a flat voice. “She’s pregnant?”
