Ziggy deserves better than that.
He deserves to betheonly option.
And aside from the sex we had, I don’t know if Ziggy is an option for me at all. He’s never given me any reason to think he might be interested before now. Maybe he sensed my attraction and figured this was his chance to lose his virginity? I’m glad he picked me and that I made it good for him, but he’s not exactly pushing for a repeat.
Actually, he didn’t really give me an answer at all.
Can I blame him? All he’s heard me whine about is finding my forever person and smothering them when I do. It’s not like I’ve been selling myself to him, and if our positions were reversed, I probably wouldn’t be in a hurry to tie myself to this sinking ship either.
“I assume,” I start, wanting to pull myself out of this funk, “that I’ll know when I see it. That when I fall for the last time, it’ll feel different to all the times I’ve fallen for someone in the past.” I look over at him, feeling hopeful, and slowly, Ziggy lets go of his legs and lies down opposite me.
He’s on his side of the bed, and I’m on mine, but when I roll to face him, it feels as intimate as if we were touching.
“It would have to be like that, right?” I ask.
“I have no idea.”
It really is ridiculous that every time I hear his voice, this littlemeepgoes off in my chest. “I’ll let you know if I ever find out.”
That doesn’t get a response, not that I’m expecting it to, but Ziggy does reach for my hand again. His fingers link through mine, and he holds it like he has a right to be holding it. The lack of hesitation is hot.
“Tomorrow, I’ll drive us back to town, and then you’re not allowed to disappear on me. Understand?”
The sly look I get back isn’t an agreement.
“I’m serious. You said you don’t want to lose me either. Once we’re back there, it’s back to being friends again. Friends who sometimes tease each other about the time we had sex.”
I get a real laugh, and I swear that makes the whole night worth it.
“Deal?”
He shakes our joined hands, like we’re entering into a contract.
That’s good enough for me.
We talk—well, I talk—for a while longer, until my eyes grow heavy and I have to fight for every word. I don’t want to fall asleep. I want to take as much time with him as possible, but it’s been a long day, and the more I battle my tiredness, the deeper it takes hold.
Each long blink cements more details into my mind.
The glint of his piercings in the low light.
His chest teasingly on display by the robe.
And his hand anchoring mine to the bed, the warmth of it staying with me all night.
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
ZIGGY
We wake up and get back into our slightly damp clothes, and then Kennedy feeds me breakfast before we get on the road home.
But I’m distracted the entire time by one thought:
Kennedy doesn’t know what love is.
At least, that’s the conclusion I’ve come to after last night. He’s a funny one. The way he can be so sure it’s a thing he wants, even though he’s never experienced it. I assume. From what he says, no one he’s dated before has appreciated what they had with him, and their loss is my gain.
