“How do you date out here? I’m assuming you don’t have a girlfriend … boyfriend?” I’m fishing, and I’m not subtle about it. “Considering you spend a lot of time with me.”
He turns his attention to his fingers. “I don’t.”
“You don’t date? What a tragedy to keep yourself away from all those girls … boys?”
He flicks me with the back of his hand, and his smile tells me he’s picked up on what I’m asking. “I’m … umm … gay.”
Ooof, hello, nerves. They swim happily in my gut, and I shift closer again. “But no boyfriend?”
His smile widens until it lights up his eyes. “No. Never.”
“Never? Lies!”
He almost laughs, and I’m just gaping, wondering how the hell all the queer men ever let him get away from Lincoln.
Then he whispers, “I’m not easy to get to know.”
I can’t argue about that, but I do know that every minute of the last month or so that I’ve known him has been worth it to get to this point. It’s not coming easily to him, but he doesn’t feel like he’s fighting every word now either.
“Anyone who doesn’t take the time is missing out.” My words don’t give him the boost I’m hoping for though.
“Sweet, but … doesn’t help … the loneliness.”
Loneliness? Ziggy’slonely? While I know he’s quiet and doesn’t leave Wilde’s End much, I never would have guessed. I assumed everyone who lives out here likes their solitude.
Was that his real reason for helping us? He wanted to be around people?
Thankfully, I’m already dry, and I sling an arm around Ziggy’s shoulders. “No more being lonely. You have me. Which is lucky because Ireallyneed you. I love my brothers, but they’re such pains in the ass, and I need you to keep me sane out here.”
“Sane?”
“Yes. Because I am also not dating anyone. I’ve been banned.”
“Banned?”
I tilt my head side to side. “Well,I’vebanned myself. Dating only gets you into trouble, and I have a lot of issues with being clingy, so I’ve sworn off it. We’ll be two best bachelors, living the bachelor life together and keeping each other company. Doesn’t that sound awesome?” Because while I don’t want Ziggy to feel lonely, I also don’t want to feel that way either. I like being around people, and I really, really like being around him.
He slowly shifts around so my arm falls away, and I lie back, smooth rock hot against my back. “You should date.”
“Why?” I ask, but it’s rhetorical. “So that I can smother my date with affection, make them hate me, and then walk away brokenhearted? Been there, done that too many times.”
“Smother?”
I wave a hand like I don’t care, but Idocare. I want to be able to show someone how much I love them without having to hold back. “I come on strong. Nothing creepy, but I like to show people what they mean to me, and apparently, buying lots of gifts or showing up for a spontaneous weekend away or calling to make sure they got home from the date safely istoo much,Kenny.” I put on a joking tone that matches how much of a joke some people think I am. Normally, it doesn’t get to me, but talking to Ziggy is easy. He’s never given the impression he’s judging me, and I’ve never met someone who feels like they’re hanging off my every word.
“That … actually sounds nice,” he says.
“What? Being too much?”
He dips his head, and for a second, I worry that’s all I’m going to get. “Having someone care like that.”
I meet his gaze, and this heavy moment of understanding passes between us. It’s a lingering thing, like every fresh hurt we’ve ever experienced is laid out between us, and Ziggy makes a whole lot more sense to me. He craves connection as deeply as I do.
“You know what … I’ve got you.”
He studies me like he’s trying to pull the meaning from my face. And maybe he doesn’t have words for what he wants to ask, or maybe I talk too soon, but I want to make sure he’s following.
“We’re friends. Bachelor bros. I get lonely too. Even with my brothers around, sometimes it makes it worse. I want someone who understands me, you know.”
