Instead of tugging him like I normally would, I point toward the swing.
“Think it will take my weight?” he asks as we approach.
I squint up at the weathered rope, but it still looks thick and strong. I take hold of one side of the tire, and like he can read my mind, he grabs the other side. We both pull down hard against it, but the rope doesn’t give, so I take that as a good sign.
“Only way to know is to test it, I guess,” he says.
That’s true. I set a foot on the tire, prepared to go up, when Kennedy’s face drops.
“I don’t meanyou.”
Itskat the worry in his voice. Of course it’s going to be me. I’m lighter than he is; it’s the basic process of elimination.
“What if you get hurt?”
Then it will save him from being hurt. While I appreciate him looking out for me, I get this a lot. This …suffocatingkind of protection. There might be some wires crossed between my brain and my mouth, and I might be scrawnier than him or Wilde, but it doesn’t mean I’m helpless. I like people looking out for me; I don’t like being babied.
I stare Kennedy down until he lets go of the tire with a laugh. “Okay, okay. But if it breaks on you, I’m going to feel really bad.”
I can guarantee I’ll feel worse in that scenario.
I climb up onto the tire and then gesture for him to give me a push. I’ve never done this before, but I assume once he gives me a solid shove, all I have to do is let go once I’m over the water. I already know it’s deep enough.
“Ready?” he asks, pulling me back, but before Kennedy lets me go, he chokes out, “Goddamn, Ziggy.”
I glance down and find my ass in line with his face, but before I can ask—before I can eventhinkto ask—anything else, he lets go.
My gut performs a painful somersault as I fly forward, and I’m still so focused on the moment I left behind that I almost forget to let go. My hands loosen on the rope, and I’m suspended for a freeing moment before I drop.
I plunge beneath the surface, cool water wrapping around me, and I fight the buoyancy to dive deeper, loving the coolness on my overheated skin. Under here, there’s no Kennedy, there’s no awkwardness, just murky water in every direction.
Until the muffled sound of another body breaking water comes, and a few seconds later, Kennedy appears. He swims toward me, hair a fluffy cloud around his head, and doesn’t stop until he’s a foot or two away. We blink at each other, and down here, we feel equal. A world without words, just every emotion playing across our faces.
Kennedy drifts closer. Closer. At first, I assume it’s the current, but then his face is leaning in, his eyes close, and he … it kind of … I think he’s going tokissme.
Nerves explode in my gut, and I know there’s no way it will happen, no way he’d want to, but he’s inches away and still moving into my space and?—
He blows all his air out in a burst, bubbles exploding in my face, and I almost react before I remember I’m holding my breath.
I kick to the surface and suck in so much oxygen my vision goes wobbly for a second. Somehow, Kennedy made me forget I need oxygen to exist, and when he appears right after me, it’s easy to see why.
Kennedy is normally attractive.
With wet hair and the water reflecting off those eyes, he’s stunning.
“Your hair is everywhere,” he says, affection heavy in his tone. He moves closer, and before I know what he’s doing, he pulls out my headband and runs a hand back over my hair. The usual strands in my vision disappear before he tucks the rest behind my ears. His hands linger, his eyes soft, and I wait for him to look his fill, hating the way I’m searching his eyes for approval.
Something in his gaze lights up. “I almost forgot there was a face under there.”
I cup my hands and send a barrage of water his way, putting distance between us as his laugh rings out through the cove.
“Let’s do that again!”
I take the headband back and wave him ahead, still reeling from how I thought he might kiss me and how desperately I wanted him to. It was a ridiculous thing to assume,stupid, useless, inconsiderate, so the disappointment kicking in shouldn’t be this intense.
I leave the water behind and lie back on my sunning rock, watching Kennedy take turn after turn on the swing. His enthusiasm for everything makes me smile, makes mehappy,and I know I’ll never be larger than life in the way he is, but I don’t want to be.
Seeing him enjoy himself is enough.
