“I don’t know what I’ll do after this,” he murmurs.
The contemplative tone catches my attention, even though these musings are common for him. It’s morewhathe’s contemplating that I’m interested in.
He plows on like he’s picked up on my curiosity. “Yeah … I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know that we’ll be here for a while.” He sounds like he’s thinking out loud, and I appreciate that he never expects me to fill in the gaps in conversation, just carries it himself. “The plan, as far as my brothers are concerned, is that we leave as soon as we’re done here. Let’s be real, there’s no way Hudson and Wilde are going to last beyond that.” He throws mea grin like I should be in on the joke, but I only arch my eyebrow his way. He might not know Wilde, but I do, and I’ve never seen him as restlessly not himself as he’s been since meeting Hudson. The thought of them ending isn’t something I can picture.
Kennedy studies my face. “You think they’ll last?”
I shrug a little, and then after a moment, I nod. Why shouldn’t I expect them to last? Wilde willingly left the End and went to a place with people to bring Hudson back here. Other than his occasional trips into Wayward, he never leaves Wilde’s End, especially not to go to a town as big as the one they came from. Towns like that scare him. Busy places, mild traffic, being social.
It was … sweet.
Having someone want me so much that they’d face their fears to keep me? I’ll never know what that’s like, because while I might be exploding with feelings for Kennedy, those feelings will only ever go one way.
Because how can you fall for someone who refuses to talk?
“Huh …” Kennedy mutters, expression torn between disbelief and awe. “You know … my brothers like to joke that I’m the romantic one. So you’d expect that if one of us was going to find his person in the middle of nowhere, it would be me.” His sigh is long and heavy, like he loses himself for a moment. Thankfully, he’s back to his happy self in no time at all. “Whatever is meant to be, will be, am I right?”
I don’t answer him because I’m not so sure I believe in fate. If fate were real, would it have beaten me down as completely as it has? Would it have left me without a voice while it filled my soul with words?
“Besides,” he continues, like he didn’t ask a question at all. “We have more than enough work to keep us busy here. We can’t afford for two brothers to be distracted by sex.”
A flush rushes through me at him even saying the word. Just like that. Just so casually.
He lifts his hand and waves his fingers between us. “Me and my hand are doing okay together.”
The imagery of Kennedy unzipping that suit and reaching his hand inside, taking hold of his dick …
Holy fuck.
I stand quickly, hands shaking as I attempt to pick up my toolbox and get the hell out of here. I jerk off all the time; I know exactly how good it feels, but I have no idea how good it would feel to do it tohim. And I really, really want to.
To see Kennedy’s eyes flutter back as his large body ripples with tension.
“Whoa, hey.” He sets his hand on my toolbox. “I know leaving mid-conversation is your thing, but do youreallyhave to go?”
I don’t answer him because of course I don’t. I have nowhere else to be, and that longing ache in my gut wants to stay right here. The ache between my legs has other plans though.
With Kennedy holding down my things, I’m tempted to leave them there and bail, but his voice keeps me rooted in place.
“Come on … this stupid job isn’t half as annoying with you keeping me company.”
His warm, hopeful voice always melts me.
Like the first person to actually give a shit about me has all the wires in my brain short-circuiting. I know he only wants company, any company, and without his brothers here, I’ll do. That reminder is enough to make my boner flag, and after a long inhale, I can look at him again.
At those sweet, speckled green eyes, his kind face, the way his lips are tugging up in a smile, like they’re trying to show mine how to do the same.
Slowly, I sit back on my toolbox.
“I know you’re taking pity on me,” he says, “butthank you. I’d go out of my mind having to do this alone. One of the things I love about this place is how peaceful it is, but I also don’t do well by myself.”
I know what he means. Having him around helps distract from how loud it gets in my head. The roaring thoughts that are never given life make it hard to sleep at night, and the days I go without seeing anyone make me question if this is even existing.
At least if I moved to a city, I’d not be existing around other people, and the noise might help distract from those depressing thoughts.
On a whim, I reach over and give Kennedy’s sleeve a tug. Then, when I have his attention, I gesture to myself.
His eyes narrow a little, like he’s trying to read me, so I do the motion again.
