“Considering last time we properly spoke, you told me to go and fuck myself, I think I’ll disagree.”
I was mad, and I had every right to be mad, but that’s not what it was about at all. I turn and set my back against the wall. “I never said you were a shit brother. I said that I feel lonely and that we’re supposed to be there for each other, but instead of that happening, we’re always butting heads. I hate it.”
“Me too.” He runs his free hand roughly over his face. “I don’t know how to fix it though. I’m so sick of feeling angry and like the smallest thing is one step away from disaster.”
“Have you seen where we are?” Hart snarks.
I ignore him. If he wants to cling to whatever demons he has, that’s on him. But if I have a chance to repair things, at least with one of them, I’m going to take it. “Do you feel like that around Wilde?”
Hudson doesn’t answer at first, just taps the level in a steady beat against the timber floors. “He … keeps me in check. Heknows my moods, and he knows when to ignore it and when to step in. Everything feels calmer around him. Which is huge, considering how everything started.”
I’ll never understand their relationship, but that’s a whole lot more than Hudson’s ever got out of his previous ones.
So I’ll give a little and hope he meets me halfway.
“Okay. Then I will be civil.”
“Toward Wilde?” The doubt in his voice comes through clearly.
“Yes.” I huff, because I’m not the unreasonable one. “All I ever asked of him was to treat you right, and now that I know he’s not using you as a punching bag and that it sounds like you might actually be communicating and maybe even good for each other …” I throw up my hands. “I can’t complain about that.”
“Right. Well, good.”
“Good.”
“And I’ll apologize to Ziggy.”
“What?”
Hudson screws up his face. “Don’t make me say it again. But I’ll do it, and I’ll make sure he knows I’m serious.”
Talking feelings in any capacity is something the both of them struggle with, and knowing Hudson will do that for me feels like the olive branch I’ve been waiting on.
“Thank you.”
He smiles but can’t meet my eyes. “Next time you feel alone, come to me. I might be an asshole sometimes, but I’ll always be your big brother.”
“Does that mean you’ll tuck me in and give me forehead kisses too?” Hart asks, completely disinterested.
Hudson ignores him. “I’m serious.”
“Thanks, but with Ziggy, I don’t think I’ll feel alone again.”
“Yeah, but … you need someone outside of your relationship. That can’t be everything. You know that, right?”
“I know. I’ve made friends with Rooney, and I’ve dropped in on that guy Sasha a few times.”
“How is he?”
“No clue. I have a feeling something happened in Wayward, but he won’t talk about it.”
“Yeah, I got that impression.”
Whatever it was, if I’ve learned anything, it’s that running from a problem doesn’t make it go away. Now that he’s not scared for his life, he’s a sweet guy, and he’s actually serious about helping to pay off what he stole.
“Someone’s here,” Hartwell says, standing and dusting himself off.
I didn’t hear anything, but the sound of a car door slamming comes a moment later. My brothers lead the way out, and while I don’t think everything is magically fixed now, it’s good to know that at least Hudson is committed to trying.
