Chapter 1
Iremember them.
Three years.I am not twenty-one—I am twenty-four, and the Umbral Authority took three years of my life from me. I’ve been awake for a while as my head swarms with memories, all of which are of them. My bonded. Valeron Drexan, Mazikeen Lycidas, Kane Ardian and Black Ashveil. I have been theirs every single year, and I didn’t remember. We shared secret kisses, hidden moments, in every single year, and the Umbral Authority took those memories. They just couldn’t take the connection between us, the desire and pull. We always end up bonded, and it always gets complicated in more ways than one.
The memories are coming back, jumbled and hazy but firm. The spells that I invented—I didn’t just make one or two. I made hundreds of new spells, and I’ve been storing them away each year. The death magic spell was nothing compared to the spells I know in my mind, spells I was taught never to make, but I broke the rules. I broke every rule at Bloodstone Academy, and I don’t have one regret. The magic that I can create is so naturally mine, and it is without restrictions. No wonder the Umbral Authority wants me under their control.
Can my mother, the enchantress, create spells like me? Is this endless creation of magic how she made the Mindless and began a war? I don’t know, but the more I think about it, the more I wonder if she began this war to find me. What else has the Umbral Authority lied about? It’s too much to wonder as I lie here, and my thoughts drift back to my bonded. They’ve been my bonded in every single year, and it’s not something the Umbral Authority wanted. I wonder if our long-forgotten goddess helped to make sure I bonded with them? Nothing ever splits us apart. They always bonded to me, and every time, it was less of an accident and more of a divine path.
At this point, who is the villain? My mother or the witches? In my mind, it’s both. I need to get my bonded at Bloodstone Academy and make a plan. Now that I remember, I will not be their weapon or do what they want. The only control they had over me was the goddess’s tarot cards, but it didn’t work this time. I just don’t know why not. I will figure it out, but first, I need to open my eyes and face what fresh hell the Umbral Authority has in store for me this year.
I need to act excited to go to the academy and not like it’s where I plan to bring down the Umbral Authority once and for all. This is a real chance to do something good and stop them, and I can’t waste it. I’m no longer the victim who is being used, whose memories are taken, and who’s being turned into something the Umbral Authority needs. I am Juniper Daygan, if that is even my real name, and I will bring down the Umbral Authority.
My eyes pop open, and I look up at the ceiling of my bedroom. I’m back at the house I won’t call home, and the bed shifts as Melody sits down next to me. As always, she looks thin from the many potions she takes to keep up with the perfect figure, and her black hair is pinned straight down her back. There isn’t a hair out of place, and not even a speck of dust daresto touch her high-collared white dress. She is the half-sister to Fasrah from the Umbral Authority, and she is part of the lies.
Melody fostered me and always made me feel like I should be grateful because no one wanted me and I had no living family. That is a lie. My mother is alive, and Melody knew it. Years of her conditioning and abuse is hard to swallow. I can’t even feel pain anymore; I don’t even scream anymore, and it’s because of her. I’m so angry that I have to clench the sheets to hide my shaking hands. My life was a carefully constructed lie to make me feel worthless, and it worked. I let it work on me. Until I met my bonded, and even though they hated me at the beginning of our bonding every year, they still made me feel like I belonged to them by the end of the year. Every time, I became part of their group, their chosen family, and I know that feeling of them wanting me can never be taken away now.
The Umbral Authority should fear what they made me into.
Melody smiles with her painted lips, completely unaware of my thoughts of finding something sharp and stabbing her with it. Goddess knows she has seen me bleed a dozen times. “There you are, my daughter.” Daughter? What the fuck? She never calls me that. It’s justJuniper, ormy biggest disappointment. Orslut. “Good morning. How are you feeling?” She waits expectantly and I say nothing. “We’ve always gotten off to a bit of a terrible start, you and I. I did always want to be a mother to you, and I think we can finally start now. You can call me mother from now on.” Like fuck I will. “You look tired and confused; sometimes that happens when you’re overexcited. It’s okay. I would be thrilled too.”
“Overexcited?” I carefully question.
I flinch when she pats my shoulder. She’s beaten the crap out of me for years, and I don’t want her to touch me at all. Melody, the sadist, doesn’t even notice. She does take her hand off me now that she has tried to comfort me. There were so manymoments when I was little that I would have done anything for her to embrace me, to tell me I could call her mother, and to be like this. But she never would because it was all a lie. She was hired by the Umbral Authority, no doubt to keep me in line and make sure I am controlled before attending Bloodstone Academy.
“Your engagement to Hemlock Mercury! What else would you be overexcited about?” She huffs as my stomach drops. “I might never understand why he chose someone as common as you.” She touches my hair like the long wavy brown locks are hideous. “But now that you’re engaged and your wedding is coming up so soon, your relationship with Lock is just amazing news. I wish you had told me sooner how the two of you met and found love in the forest. It’s like a fairy tale. He’s such a prominent member of the Umbral Authority families, and he is destined for greatness. You will be at his side and have his children. You are so lucky. I feel like we should get along for the future, right?”
Marriage. Lock. Fuck that. I don’t want Lock anywhere near me, and I have no intention of playing this fiancée lie they have made up. It was bad enough before they attempted to take my memories again and reset the year. I am assuming the Umbral Authority’s plan this year is to distract me with Lock. Lock has been a front-row figure in all of the three years, and I hate to admit it, but in the first year, before I met the dragons, I did fall for him. I did sleep with him, and he was my first. They just altered the memories a little to make me think we met in the forest back home. That isn’t true.
He’s definitely still a traitor, because I doubt they are wiping his memories. He’s a total asshole for going along with this. The reason I hated Lock before is the same—he cheated on me. I found him sleeping with his bonded, and now that I rememberthey are together, I will use that against him. I doubt they stopped. Apparently, I’m not the only one breaking that rule.
For now, I have to pretend. I have to lie…to get to my bonded. To save them, even if they won’t remember me yet. If I tell anyone I remember, the Umbral Authority are just going to figure out what went wrong and wipe my memories permanently. I can’t let that happen. I smile the best I can and unclench my hands. “Yes, we’re so in love.” The words feel fake and disgusting in my mouth. “I just can’t wait to see him. Where is Lock?”
I’m not lying. I want to see him so I can immediately put a hex on his lying ass. I need a moment to decide which barbaric hex to do to that complete asshole. I haven’t forgotten he nearly killed Vale and nearly ended my life when I had to step in. Melody looks pleased. I bet she is. This is just what she wants me to be, the conditioned, weak witch she dragged up. She doesn’t realize she taught me exactly how to behave well enough that no one would suspect me. Fool.
“Oh, he’s in the room next door to yours, and Bloodstone Academy gave him special leave to escort you. I wouldn’t have you two sleeping in the same room together just yet. We have to have some morals in this house. I have sent word to Rue about your engagement, and I’m sure she will be thrilled.”
Rue. Does she know about my past and the stolen memories? Does Wini? I was only friends with Wini in this last year, and I had never met her before because she wasn’t a student. I will have to find out whether I can trust her or not. The same goes for my foster sister.
Melody grabs my wrist tightly, and I realize I stopped listening to her. I know she’s itching to hurt me. I can see it in her eyes, but I don’t think this year’s plan allows her to, so instead she digs her nails into my arm in a way that could be hidden as an accident. I’m tempted to push and snap at her, tosee how far she will take this pretence before going at me. I can’t do that though, not without attracting too much attention, and I know she is going to report my every response to the Umbral Authority.
“I look forward to going to Bloodstone Academy and being taught how to fight. I can stop the war that took my parents from me.” I say exactly what she will expect me to. She smiles tightly. “Where is my sleeping shirt?” I swallow the panic when I notice I’m not wearing it. Instead, I’m in silky pajamas that definitely were Melody’s, and she’s loaned them to me.
Melody rolls her eyes, but I see the relief she tries to hide. I’m acting exactly how I should, and she can report to her sister that it’s going according to plan. Just what I want her to say. “Yes, that ratty thing is in your bag along with your other clothes and books you favor. I packed for you; shouldn’t you thank me, Juniper?”
“Thank you.” It feels like I’m thanking a monster for hurting me.
Her nails tighten slightly, and a normal person who feels pain might whimper. I stay still. “Good girl. I am so happy you’re my daughter.” But I’m not. “The whole thing was so romantic. Lock proposed to you just after you got your mark on your neck. You were so happy; you have everything you could ever want. Now you’ll join him at the academy.”
Everything I’ve ever wanted? I’ve only ever wanted my bonded, even when I was taught it was wrong and forbidden to want them. I’m a child of a shifter and witch, the very forbidden thing they teach us from the moment we enter the schools. It’s all controlled by them. War has no place for love or loyalty… Who would choose to leave behind their bonded, who they were in love with, to fight for the Umbral Authority? No one. I bet that is what scares them. The enchantress would win thewar in a heartbeat if shifters and witches were allowed to have relationships.
The door is knocked twice, and I sit up, pulling my arms around my knees as Lock swaggers in. “Hope you don’t mind my walking in, fiancée,” he drawls, and I feel a thousand spiders crawl across my skin at his possessive tone. I am not his, but I will pretend to be…so he doesn’t see the revenge brewing in my heart. Lock is objectively attractive, lean and muscular, classically handsome features that most women would love. His dark silk pajamas are cut to show off his body as he moves. I hate myself for falling for him, even when I know it is because I was desperate for any affection and I would have liked anyone who wanted me.
Yet, as I look at Lock as he runs his hand through his soft brown hair, I only compare him to the men in my life who are breathtakingly handsome. My bonded. There isn’t even a competition between them all, and I haven’t looked twice at Lock since I met them. In every year, once I met my bonded, I have only seen them and only wanted them. I need to know they are okay, that they weren’t punished for what happened.
Lock comes closer, running his fingers down my arm, and I swallow my instinct to bat his hand away, set it on fire with a hex, and watch him burn. I’m good at spells and hexes, and it’s because I’ve spent so many years at the academy. I’ve trained myself right under their noses. My three years have left me with many, many spells, and I am very good at making new ones as it turns out. I’m powerful too. I think the mix of witch and dragon magic heightens my abilities. The hex I’m going to weave for him is going to tap into my power, and it’s the only thing that keeps me smiling.
Lock begins chatting away to me, his eyes fixed on my face. “How are you, my dearest love?” He kisses my forehead, andmy hands clench together tight underneath the duvet. I need to bleach everywhere he touches.
