“As long as you’re mine, I hold the right to punish and discipline you, and I hold the duty to guide and protect you.” He pauses to let his words sink in. Something solemn descends over him. He places his hand on my head, lowering his head as he lets me do the same. “I, Ulf Eriksson, vow to protect, guide, and take care of you, my dear Elina—my little deer of the woods.” A swoosh goes through the air. The energy seems to sweep through the whole crowd and the forest, casting it in quiet reverence.
Slowly, Ulf removes his hand, fingertips brushing my temple and cheek as he moves down to lift my head with the back of his hand.
“Again I ask you, Elina Lindholm, do you vow to submit and obey me as your master, your chieftain, and your sacred protector?”
I swallow hard—not out of fear but reverence. This is not pretend. This vowissacred, and I know that great consequencewill befall me if I ever break it. But as I stare up at Ulf and feel my heart expand and contract with steady thuds, I don’t feel fear or concern. All I feel is purpose and submission. I know, deep in my heart, that he will honor his vow to protect, guide, and take care of me.
That’s why I once again reply without hesitation. “Yes. I vow to submit and obey you.” My eyes fall shut as an intense feeling of belonging overcomes me.
Ulf curves his hand around my cheek, giving me a moment to process before straightening. “If you agree to this sacred contract, you may bow and kiss my feet.”
I’ve never been religious, but at that moment when I lean forward, into the dirt, bending my head before Ulf and pressing my lips to his foot, I feel connected to something higher. A force beyond anything that can be measured or weighed. I know I’ve found my God. But not in the shape of an invisible being far away, high in the heavens, or hidden in the trees. My God is alive and breathing. His hand is strong and palpable as it wraps around the back of my neck, and his presence is powerful and warm as he sinks to his haunches and welcomes me into his sacred domain.
His voice softens as he leans down, his head hovering just above mine. “Now let me guide you through the pain as I seal our sacred bond.”
I nod beneath his touch. I have no idea what I’m getting myself into, but I know that whatever it is, I’ll take it. Because there’s nothing I want more than to earn Ulf’s praise and a seat at his feet.
Slowly, purposefully, he gets up, keeping his grip on my neck, bringing me with him. The drums start again as he leads me forward, toward the tree. He stops between the two ropes that hang from one of the big branches. Stepping behind me, he slips his arms under mine, around my waist, cocooning me inthe warm shell of his embrace. Two men with painted faces come up to us.
My heart stutters when they take my hands and lift them to the ropes. But I don’t protest. I just close my eyes and let myself float in the steady power of Ulf’s control while the men tie my hands. Ulf feels formidable as he just holds me. Strong and steady. His firm, unwavering grip deepens my trust and manifests my belief that he can keep me safe from anything.
Except from himself,I think when I open my eyes and see the whip hanging from his hand. But I don’t want to be kept safe from him. I want him to push me to the edge, unleash his sadism upon me, and rip me apart. Because that’s how I feel the most alive, and I know he also holds the power to put me together again.
The two men spread my arms out, like when I’m on the cross. Then they tie rope around my ankles, spread my feet wide, and connect the ropes to stakes that they hammer into the ground at a slanted angle.
When Ulf releases me, it’s like a snap of a thread—a single string that makes the entire spider’s web collapse. The world draws back in—the painted people watching, the fire, and the beckoning drums asking for a sacrifice to be made. My pain. My fear.
I pull at the ropes, testing their strength. No give. I try a little harder, and helplessness washes over me, thick and suffocating. The branch above me is so solid it barely even budges, and when I put more force into my legs, the pegs feel as strong as iron. There’s no getting away.I’m trapped.
My chest starts shaking—fear and defeat overcoming me. I glance at the people who are all watching me. Suddenly, it’s all too much. I shake my head, choking, overwhelming despair creeping in. I badly want to do this—to give in to Ulf and become his—but I can’t dothis. I’m exhausted. I just want to collapse.
I close my eyes and lick my lips, my safeword swirling in my mind.Raven, raven, raven.Then comes Asbjörn’s warning.Everything stops.I can’t do that either. So I do something else. I beckon the man who holds me at his mercy—the man I’ve given myself over to, trusting him to protect and take care of me.
“Ulf,” I say, my voice so small I don’t think it will reach over the drums. I’m about to draw in on myself when two hands cradle my face, calloused but warm. Achingly familiar. I open my eyes, and the world around me disappears as I crash into Ulf’s stark blue gaze.
“I’m right here, my little deer. Eyes on me at all times. It’s just you and me.” He glances up, and a smile forms on his lips. “You and me and this big, beautiful ash tree that holds you up.”
I look up too, into the thicket of leaves and strong branches.
When I return my attention to Ulf, his features are set in serious lines, eyes soft and honest. “I know how far to take you, Elina. I’ve watched you. I know your reactions—all your little tells.” He trails a hand down to my shoulder, leaning in as if to tell me a secret. “I was the one who told Asbjörn to use the cane. And you took every sharp bite, just like I knew you would. Even more.” He reaches behind me and presses on the butt plug I had almost forgotten about in all the upheaval. “I was the one who told him you were ready for anal play. And I was right.” He pushes a few times, jostling the plug against my suddenly buzzing nerve endings. “Wasn’t I?” He leans away, taking my head between his warm hands again.
Releasing a moan, I nod in his grip.
“I was also the one who knew you weren’t ready to be claimed,” he says with grave earnestness. “But you are now.” He glances between my eyes, soaking up every trace of stark vulnerability. “You’re ready for me tofinallyclaim you.” His shoulders drop with his last words, and a sense of purpose, relief, and desire rolls through me as I realize something.
He’s been waiting too.
I was always supposed to be his.
23
Elina
I cling to Ulf with my eyes when he swishes the whip through the air. It’s even longer than the one I saw used at the farm, and I tense all muscles as the leather comes for me, crossing at least five feet of distance.
“Mine,” he growls just as the leather strikes my thigh, his resonant voice easily reaching over the drums.
My throat constricts, ready to release a scream, but the pain is not as severe as I expected. It burns, but I can take it—I’ve had much worse.
