Cass is quiet for a moment, and I keep myself occupied by toying with the USB on the counter. There’s no point in rushing him, and I figure giving him time to think of whatever he’s going to say is better than getting a half-baked response I don’t want.
“No.”
Just one word, but it still makes my heart sink just slightly. “Ah. Okay. I was just?—”
“Why?”
God, I don’t need him tangled up in my problems. But I huff out a sigh and roll my eyes up at the ceiling before launching into a quick recap of three nights ago, then a follow-up to explain the USB, the delivery, and the note.
By the time I’m done, I can feel Cass’s disapproval radiating through the phone, and I don’t need to be there to know what he’s going to say.
“Sierra.”The disapproval is audible, even in just my name.
“Tova.”
“Sierra,”he states once more.“What did we talk about before you moved back there? What did you promise us? I asked you if you thought it was a good idea, or if?—”
“It wasn’t my fault!” I yelp, frustration rising in the back of my throat. “What was I supposed to do, Cass, let him kill my roommate?”
“You could’ve done a lot of less lethal things that ended with him in jail.”God, I hate how calm he is, how fucking blasé Cass can be about anything.
I tap the edge of the USB stick hard against the counter before reaching out and crumpling the card and envelope together in my hand. This is ridiculous.
“How’s Winnie?” I ask instead of addressing his words. “Because I triedThe Pancake Plate,and I’m not sure I’m in love like she said I would be.”
Cass sighs, but doesn’t remark on my deflection, thank God.“She’s good. We just had to field a visit from her mother.”His voice turns cold in a way that makes me wonder if Winnie’s mother is going to stay safe from him for any length of time.
From what I’ve heard about her, I wouldn’t bet in her favor. But since Cass is trying to turn over a new leaf, I don’t knowwhich way that’ll go. “Hate that for you guys.” The USB and papers go back into the manila envelope, which I jam back into my pocket. “Anyway, I gotta go, Cass. I just wanted to ask. I’m about to close up for my boss?—”
“Hey.”I stop at his interruption, my steps coming to an abrupt halt.“Sierra.”
“Still Tova,” I sigh, rolling my eyes up at the ceiling. “For years now.”
“Are you?”I hate the way he says it, and even worse, I hate that I know what he means when he asks.
I stopped using my first name so I would no longer associate myself with the little girl who brutally murdered her mother, had a breakdown, and did a few other awful things before coming back to herself in a mental hospital inOhio.
God forbid my next-closest relatives be anywhere near the Pacific Northwest.
“I have to go,” I repeat quietly. “I just wanted to call to make sure you weren’t playing some weird trick on me. Even if I know that’s not really your thing, but Wren exists.” I roll my eyes. “So I can never be sure.”
“It’s not me. And I think you need to be careful. You know what happens if you let go again. The second time was easier, wasn’t it?”
I don’t answer, and the silence stretches between us.
“The third time is even easier. Then it’ll start being fun, instead of just easy. You told me you didn’t want this. Remember? You told everyone here that…”
“I know.” The words slip out of my mouth in a whisper. “I know, okay?” My eyes close hard, and I let out a breath. “I have to go. Bye, Cass.”
“Call me whenever you need to talk.”He hangs up, just as taciturn as ever, and with a sigh I shove my phone in my back pocket. Calling him probably wasn’t my best idea, since now I’llbe on his radar for things to worry about. But the thought of maybe needing him outweighs the lecture. And I needed to ask. Just to be sure. I pause at the door, putting my face against the glass as I think about the invitation.
Meet me tomorrow night.
10 PM. The place you did it.
Don’t be late.
But I won’t be going, I decide with a touch of bratty resolution. I’ll be too busy burning the card and the video before going on with my life and pretending none of this ever happened.
