“Sure you can. Just walk away.”
Shona slapped the breakfast bar. “You do my head in, Mattie.”
Her vehemence caught Mattie by surprise. She swallowed the urge to crack a joke and negate the horrid tension lodged between them again. “I love you too,” she said quietly.
Shona huffed, long and loud. Then she threw her hands up in the air. “I’ve said my piece.” She took two mugs from a cupboard and set to making instant coffee for them both. “Tell me about the new job. No, wait, you saw Nell last weekend, didn’t you? How did that go?”
At last, solid ground. “Wonderful.”
“What does she think of your new job?”
“Nell understands. We’re peas in the same pod, both of us put our careers first.” Mattie perched on a stool and leaned on the kitchen island. “We’re still planning to see each other whenever we can.”
“I’m glad to see you haven’t launched into typical Mattie sabotage mode already.” Shona took the milk out of the fridge. “I like Nell a lot. There’s a maturity and substance to her. You’re a good fit.”
Mattie’s heart did a little skip as she remembered Nell saying the exact same thing. “Yes, we are.”
“You look bashful.” Shona smirked. “If this was anyone but you, I’d accuse you of having fallen in love.”
Mattie choked a laugh. “However, this is me, so you can drop that kind of talk.”
Shona tipped her head to the side.
“Don’t give me that knowing look. I’m just riding a wave, because everything’s new and exciting.” And feeling overwhelmed, because Nell was in her thoughts most of the time. Even at work, she found herself wondering what Nell was doing in that moment, if she was happy and safe, or Mattie would be storing away a little moment to share with her later. And she was feeling a little scared. What happened when the honeymoon phase was over? Because nothing lasted forever.
“Oh, Mattie.” Shona sighed, but it was full of affection rather than irritation now. “I know what you’re thinking.”
Mattie tilted her chin. “Yeah?”
“Nothing lasts forever.”
Damn. Shonasohad her number.
“You’re right too. That initial giddy-lust-love-I-can’t-get-enough-of-you stuff evolves into something deeper. An emotional connection with a woman you adore, and trust, and couldn’t imagine living without.” Shona handed her the mug of coffee. “Be brave. Give it a try.”
Could she? Maybe. But work would always come first. “Have you finished playing agony aunt for the day?”
Shona’s lips twitched. “For now.” She raised her mug. “Here’s to the new job.”
Mattie raised her own mug in response. New people, new places, a new adventure. And she couldn’t wait to start.
Chapter 29
Nell glared at a tacky plastic Santa that sang ho, ho, ho in an overly cheery voice every time anyone came within breathing distance. In an overheated and busy garden centre a month before Christmas, that was far too often. Santa needed to put a sock in it, or she’d do it for him.
Angie tsked at the price tag on a set of six festive table mats and put them back on the shelf. “Any idea yet what you’ll be doing for Christmas?”
Wasn’t that the million-dollar question? Not knowing the answer was partly to blame for her fractious mood. “Mattie and I spoke about it last night, and I invited her to stay at mine, but she’s going to get back to me. Something about her brother and his family. And the work schedule, of course.” Their virtual call had been in lieu of the long weekend they’d planned to spend together in London. Instead, Mattie was on location in Norway but had managed to grab some time to talk from her hotel room.
Angie stopped to smell a festive candle. “Cloves. Yuk.” She wrinkled her nose. “So I guess you won’t say anything to your family yet?”
“There’s no point rocking the boat until I know what’s happening. They’re presuming I’ll turn up as usual, sanspartner.” Nell smiled at the self-deprecation in her tone. Maybe she should out herself to them regardless of where and with whom she spent Christmas. It could be a present to herself: claiming her identity.
She followed Angie into the next aisle. It shimmered with rows upon rows of shiny coloured tinsel. Nell flared her nostrils. “I hate tinsel. It’s so gaudy. That’s one of the few things my parents and I agree on. No tinsel in the house. We have a small and tasteful Christmas tree in the parlour.”
Angie laughed. “Parlour? What century is this?”
“Ha ha. In the front living room then, is that better?” She shook her head but grinned anyway. “Our tree always had an angel on the top of it and then, one year, one of my three brothers defaced it with black marker pen. There was uproar. They never confessed, but it certainly wasn’t me or Caroline. The nearest my sister and I got to rebelling was to change the words in ‘Jingle Bells’ to ‘Batman smells and Robin flew away.’” A sudden stab of longing made her close her eyes. She wanted to share memories like these with Mattie. Did she go the whole hog with Christmas decorations? Baubles, fake snow, and garlands of tinsel everywhere? She could get used to that, for Mattie. Nell picked up a snow globe that was supposed to depict the stable scene with the three kings but looked more like three badly dressed drunk men who’d robbed a bank. “Confession time. I don’t own any Christmas decorations.”
