Before Mattie had a chance to question what Nell meant, she became aware of someone approaching. The woman was twenty-something, wearing hot pants, a crop top, and an over-the-top smile.
“Hi, Mattie. Sorry to interrupt,” she said, sounding anything but. “I’m Jon’s publicist. Can I borrow you for a mo?”
No, she didn’t want to be borrowed. She wanted to stay here with Nell. “Of course.” She plastered her camera-ready smile back on. When Nell went to step back, Mattie clutched her hand. “Come with me.”Don’t leave me.
“If you’re sure.” Nell let Mattie lead her through the crowds. “This is the first time I’ve been to a book launch.”
“Don’t expect too much. It’s just a load of people sharing small talk surrounded by books. Then the author usually gives aspeech and begs you to buy their book.” Mattie’s lips quirked. “If you’re really quick, you might get a piece of cake.”
“Cake sounds good,” said Nell.
Being “borrowed” involved posing for the cameras with Jon while they held copies of his book. Now that Nell was with her, it was easier to smile and laugh naturally, rather than force it. Mattie quickly returned to Nell’s side while the publicist clapped to gain everyone’s attention. She introduced the publisher, who thanked everyone for coming and expressed his admiration for Jon and his book, before asking the man of the moment to say a few words.
“Only a few words? I’ve got more than a hundred thousand in the book to choose from,” Jon said, and everyone laughed.
Mattie watched as he held court. There was no way he could hide his injuries, even if he wanted to, which he clearly didn’t. He wore a prosthetic right arm because his had been amputated just below his elbow, and he was missing two fingers from his left hand. Burn marks scarred the right side of his neck, although they were less obvious from a distance.
“As many of you know, I developed sepsis, a common complication of serious burns,” said Jon. “I was lucky to survive. Many don’t. You can read the grisly details when you all buy the book.” He clutched the book in his bionic hand and waved it in the air, making everyone chuckle. “Yes, folks, you are at a marketing event!”
“Does he always downplay the seriousness of his injuries and make a joke about it?” Nell whispered.
She leaned into Nell, craving her warmth and touch. “Always.”
Jon’s smile fell away, and he pressed his lips together tightly. “It’s also a celebration, not just of survival but of life, and the very best of humanity. Everyone from my son’s driving instructor, who offered to drive me home from the hospital, tothe colleague and dear friend who refused to leave a burning building until she’d dragged me to safety.” He gestured toward Mattie with his book.
Everyone turned to look at her.Oh god. She tugged her hair down, hoping it covered the burn scars on the tips of her ears.
“Mattie, I will be forever grateful. You are the best of everything.” Jon raised his glass in a toast, and there was a collective chant of “Hear, hear.”
She fixed a smile to her face as she tilted her head at Jon in acknowledgement of his tribute. Her wine shook in the glass as she trembled. This was all too much now.
Nell moved behind her. “Lean on me.”
Mattie closed her eyes in relief as her back melded against Nell.
“I’ve got you,” Nell whispered.
The sensation of being untethered fell away, and Mattie took a deep, life-affirming breath. “Thank you.”
After the cake was cut and handed around on paper plates, Mattie introduced Nell to Jon and Fiona. If Jon was curious about the nature of their friendship, he kept it to himself. He knew her well enough not to pry.
Thankfully, the crowd was beginning to thin out. She’d done her duty and managed not to completely lose the plot, thanks to Nell, but the air was hot and thin, and her chest ached. “I desperately need to get out of here,” she murmured, once Jon and Fiona had turned to speak to other guests. Nell nodded, and the gentle touch of her hand in the small of Mattie’s back went a little way to quelling her growing anxiety, but she feared it wouldn’t be enough.
Alan, Jon’s friend from earlier, waved at her as the lift arrived, and he stepped inside and held the door open for them.
“We’ll take the stairs,” said Nell. “I get a bit claustrophobic in lifts.”
“I didn’t know that,” said Mattie, once the doors had closed.
“I lied,” Nell said quietly enough that no one else could hear. “This evening has been enough of an ordeal for you without adding confined spaces.”
She understands. She gets me. Warmth and an unaccustomed desire to cry engulfed Mattie. When was the last time someone truly understood her. Had anyone,ever?
Chapter 23
Nell jogged down five flights of stairs to keep up with Mattie, who was clearly frantic to get out of the bookstore. She’d noticed how tightly Mattie’s face was drawn, her skin taut over pale cheekbones, and how her body tensed each time she breathed too shallowly. She’d witnessed similar signs in colleagues suffering with varying degrees of traumatic stress. “Watch your step,” she urged, when Mattie stumbled.
But Mattie didn’t acknowledge her warning and continued to plough down the stairs at a rapid rate. Nell focused on her own footing. She couldn’t support Mattie if she got hurt herself. And Mattie clearly needed supporting. What’d happened to Shona and Lisa, the friends who were supposed to be here with her? Everybody at the party seemed to have been taken in by Mattie as she chatted, and engaged, and laughed. How had they not seen it was all an act?
