Nell stared up at her bedroom ceiling and wondered if she looked as shell-shocked as she felt. Mattie lay next to her, breathing heavily as she came down from her high. That was... Nell laughed inwardly as she flailed around for an accurate description. Overwhelming, astonishing, nerve-shredding. She’d been so dangerously close to losing her nerve. She hadn’t been able to imagine how to even begin to match the overwhelming experience Mattie had bestowed upon her. It’d been so many years since Beth.If only for today, I will be unafraid.And, much to her surprise, she’d somehow managed it. She would’ve liked more. More of Mattie’s lips, fingers, and tongue, and more of the sight of her throwing her arms above her head in surrender when she came. Nell wanted to feel the skin of her back rather than Mattie’s shirt when she’d caressed her, but just to have shared this one night with her was a memory she’d treasure. Thank god she’d got a second chance once she’d managed to persuade her overthinking brain to shut up. Twenty-four hours ago, she and Mattie had been arguing in the kitchen, yet now Mattie was in her bed.
Mattie splayed her warm hand on Nell’s abdomen. “I’m a bit discombobulated.”
Not just me then.Nell laughed. “Discombobulated? Not a word I’ve heard uttered in bed before.”
“That’s because you haven’t been in bed with me before.” Mattie winked. “It’s true, mind. Feeling discombobulated. All over the place. That’s the effect you’ve had on me.” She tugged at her shirt. “Thank you for being so understanding about this.”
“Have you really spent the last year or so having sex with your shirt on?” Nell asked, unable to curb her curiosity.
Mattie focused on drawing tiny circles with her fingertips around the freckles on Nell’s chest. “I’ve spent the last year or sonothaving sex. You swept me off my feet so completely that I forgot about the scars until the last moment.”
Nell brushed loose tendrils of hair from Mattie’s face and tucked it behind her ear, careful not to touch the slightly misshapen tip of it. Another unwanted memento from Kenya, presumably. “They’re that bad, the scars on your back?”
“Yep.”
She studied the shuttered look on Mattie’s face. “And you don’t like talking about them.”
“Why ruin an amazing afternoon and evening? Anyway, I’ve moved on from it all,” Mattie said.
Nell ran a hand along her side, careful not to make the shirt ruck up. If Mattie had truly moved on, she’d be able to have sex without wearing a shirt to cover up her injuries. Except, an irritating voice in her head reminded her, not all scars were visible. And that made them so much easier to hide, something she knew all too well.
Mattie tapped Nell’s collarbone. “Can I ask you something now?”
Nell narrowed her eyes. “So long as there’s a ‘no comment’ option.”
“Am I your first? As in, the first woman you’ve been to bed with?”
“No, you’re not. Was I that bad?” Nell couldn’t stop her panicked response. Of course she couldn’t satisfy a woman like Mattie.
Mattie rolled her eyes. “How can you honestly say that? Did I not make enough noise when I came?”
Nell’s ego perked up again.
“But it’s been a while?” Mattie asked.
Nell didn’t want to go there. As Mattie had said herself, why ruin an amazing evening? “No more questions. You’re off-duty and so am I.”
“Spoil sport.” Mattie sighed. “Much as I would like to ravage you all night, I really should go back to Cove House.”
Nell pulled her closer, and Mattie nestled into the embrace. Nell revelled in the synchronised movement of their chests and the sound of their breathing. Mattie’s hand slipped to her inner thigh. She glanced down and realised Mattie had fallen asleep. In repose, her face was softer, not so much younger but certainly more innocent and carefree. Nell kissed the top of her head. She’d let her be for ten or fifteen minutes. What harm would it do?
The ping of Mattie’s phone startled Nell out of the doze she’d slipped into. Mattie stirred in her arms, making a delightful mewing sound as she did so.
Mattie blinked. “Was that my phone or yours?”
“Yours.”
It buzzed again, and she groaned. “I don’t want to talk to anyone.”
Stay here and talk to me instead.Was it the done thing to say that? Nell twisted her fingers in the sheet. Hell, this was awkward. How was she supposed to behave after a one-night stand? What to say?
Mattie slipped out of bed and gathered her strewn clothes. Her lean legs glistened in the soft glow of the bedside lamp.
“You’re welcome to use the bathroom if you want some privacy.” She glanced away, not wanting to make Mattie self-conscious about her scars.
“Thanks, but I won’t bother with my bra. I’m only going next door.” Mattie redressed quickly and folded the cups of her bra together.
Nell began to get out of bed, but Mattie waved her back.
