I rest my forehead against his shoulder and breathe in the scent of his skin. Viktor doesn't fix things because he dismantles what no longer serves him. I look at my hands against his scarred chest and wonder if I am a prize he’s decided to keep or just a tool he’ll discard once the wound is finally closed.
“Sleep, Jonah,” he murmurs, sliding his hand down my spine.
I close my eyes and try to drown out the doubt with the heat of his skin. He’s holding me today. I just don't know if that will be enough to keep me upright when he finally lets go.
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
VIKTOR
My chest tightensas I walk down the hallway. I’ve been back in this house for a few days, but I still can’t shake the shock and sorrow in Lev’s eyes when they first brought me in. No older brother wants to see his little brother that distressed. If it had been me who had to bury him, I’d have torn the world down stone by stone.
Mother’s house has been our home for many sheltered years. Ever since Sergei became a threat, I brought Lev here. Now they’ve brought me back here too. The house feels like a fortress again, every corner occupied by men I know and shadows I’m finally starting to trust.
The stitches ache when I take the stairs. The pull of the thread is a constant reminder of the shit show I just escaped. I wasn't wrong when I told Jonah last night that I couldn't fuck him because of the doctor’s advice, but I’d have loved it if he could've patched me up in other ways.
The staircase opens onto another hallway. Heading toward my office, I feel the weight of the house settling back onto my shoulders. Lev jumps out of his seat the second I walk in. Now that the adrenaline of the reunion has faded, I notice differences in my younger brother. He’s wearing his hair differently. Longer,maybe. His handsome face has a glow it didn't have the night before I turned twenty-five.
“Vitya, what the hell, dude, you can’t be here.” He grabs my shoulder and pushes me into my desk chair. Something has changed in the way he moves. He’s steadier. “Get him a coffee,” he barks at a guard, then looks at me. “You should be in bed.”
“Yes, nurse.”
Lev rolls his eyes as Nikolai chuckles from where he’s leaning against the wall. “You don't need me for that because you already have one.” Nikolai’s chuckle turns into a laugh.
“What have you been up to?” The longer I look, the more differences I notice. There’s more color in my brother’s cheeks. Where the sleeves of his black shirt are rolled up, I see more tattoos than I remember. But it is his eyes that hold my attention. They glow with something different. Still fierce, but darker. As if he’s found something worth holding onto. He waves me off, which only makes me more suspicious.
“Remember that guy in Vespers?” Nikolai supplies, his voice dripping with amusement. “The blond one with the black shirt?”
Lev blushes, a rare sight. “Oh, fuck off.”
“He was kind to your brother while he was sobbing over your death.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
Lev rolls his chair back. “Can we just focus on work, please?”
Nikolai cackles, making Lev’s blush deeper.
Not wanting to embarrass him, I sit down. “Let’s do it. Let’s talk death and revenge. I’m here for it.”
“Oh, you boring brothers.” Nikolai winks. “Now I have to agree with Lev. You should be in bed, you look like shit.”
“Hey, I never say that about your face.”
Lev whistles. “Low blow, man.”
Nikolai huffs. “Don't forget I’m the one who saved you. The both of you, as it seems.”
“Don't mention him. Jonah is?—”
“Yeah?”
I don't know. Or maybe I do. He’s the only thing in my life that isn't covered in blood or loaded with an agenda. He’s a soft light in a world where I’ve spent twenty-five years going blind in the dark. He is the only piece of this mess I intend to keep clean.
Nikolai lifts his chin an inch. “Got it.”
The words surprise me. Nikolai has been my right hand and best friend forever. Our fathers were too. He’s a snake to the outside world and only answers to the Morozovs. Yes, Nikolai’s always kept a lot to himself. He minds his own business. He’s also curious as fuck.
