“Better?” he whispers, his hands finally coming to rest on my thighs.
“Exactly what I needed.” I pull him into a hug, burying my face in the crook of his neck. Jonah turns the water off.
We step out onto the mat. He rubs me down first and then himself. In the mirror above the sink, I catch a glimpse of myself; the bruise dark along my jaw and the fresh bandage cutting across my side. Jonah stands behind me, his hair damp and plastered to his forehead.
He helps me into clean shorts and a soft T-shirt. He tapes a fresh bandage over the wound. Then he pulls on his own clothes, moving with a quiet grace.
“I’m here,” I say, watching him. “I’m not going anywhere.”
That does something strange to my chest. A claim I didn't see coming, and one I'm not ready to let go of. We go back to the bedroom. By the time we reach the bed, my legs are shaking. I lie down. I hook an arm around Jonah’s waist and haul him in against me until his back presses to my chest.
“Sleep. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
Footsteps hit the hall before the door swings open without a knock. I’m awake before I can place the sound, my hand already searching for a weapon that isn't there. Lev fills the doorway and then stops. His gaze goes to the bed and to Jonah, his mouth tightening a fraction. Nikolai stands just behind him. “So you’re not just a nurse, are you?”
“Careful,” I rumble.
Lev waves me off. “Don't mind me. Fuck, it’s just... it’s been a lot, Vitya. I'm seeing ghosts everywhere.”
Lev comes to the side of the bed. Grabbing his jaw, I tilt his face up to mine. “Look at me, mladshenkiy.”
His eyes meet mine. They’re glittering and he looks like he hasn't slept in days. “I thought you were dead. Your fucking face was on the news. I saw you on the pavement, Vitya. You weren't moving.” He rubs his face. “I just can't get past it. You were bleeding, and everything went wrong at once.”
Jonah’s fingers curl into the fabric at my hip. He’s not letting go. He’s staking his own claim in the middle of my family. “You remember the club? The street? Anything at all?”
I try to shrug. “Bits. We walked out. There was a car. Headlights. Then noise. Heat. Then the ground. Sirens. After that, it's a blur of drug-dreams.”
Lev swallows hard. “They shot you in front of me. You went down. There was blood everywhere. Nikolai and I tried to get to you, but those black cars blocked us in. One of our guys took a bullet to the chest. Then the sirens were coming. Everything went too fast. People were filming with their phones. You weren't breathing. The cops would have had us pinned. I had ten seconds to choose between your body and the rest of us. I thought you were gone. I swear to God, Vitya, I thought you were gone. I left you. I left you there on the street like trash.”
I squeeze his hand. “Lev, I’m here now. I’m here now. You made the only choice you could.”
“But then... who did I bury?” He turns back to Nikolai, his voice rising. “Who the fuck did we put in the ground in that closed casket?”
I see it in flashes. His face above me in rain and streetlight. Water streaking down his hair. “I wouldn't have left you behind alive. You know that, right? I didn't just leave you, Vitya. I left my soul on that asphalt.”
Jonah’s fingers tighten around my wrist. “It seems Sergei got to me first. That son of a bitch didn't miss. He wanted the world to think I was dead so he could break me in private. He staged the whole funeral to bury the truth.”
“He staged the shooting from the start,” Nikolai comments.
Lev starts pacing. He breathes like he’s trying not to throw up. When he faces me again his eyes are wet. “I left you,” he says again, quieter now. “I left you on the road while he picked you up. He stole you from under my nose.”
“You had seconds,” I counter. “You chose to keep Nikolai alive. You chose to keep yourself alive. I would have ordered you to do the same.”
“I still left you.”
“Stop it now, mladshenkiy. I survived. Once I’m feeling well enough we kill that bottle of Beluga. I take it you haven't finished it yet?”
“Fucker.” Lev punches my shoulder then looks so guilty I grin. “Of course not. It's been sitting in the freezer like a tombstone."
“Good. Then we can show Jonah the Russian style.”
His gaze flicks to Jonah who snuggles closer. “Thank you, I suppose.”
“You should thank your grandmother. She hired me,” Jonah stammers.
My grin widens at the choice of words. As if he had a choice.
“We’ll talk about Sergei later.” Lev steps away from the bed. “When you’re well rested and taken care of by your nurse.”
